I [19F] am a sophomore in college. Until last semester my parents were paying for about 3/4 of my tuition and my housing. However they insisted I used the Life360 app showing my location to them at all times. It wasnt optimal but I figured its up to them since theyre paying for me. Over the holidays however my dad and I had a huge argument because I changed my major from Biology to Nursing. He told me I was throwing away a bigger opportunity but I feel like i can help more people this way. Since then Ive had to start working two jobs and take out multiple student loans. I pay for everything now, my parents give me $0. Anyways, last weekend I went on a roadtrip to another state and my mom started texting me non stop, demanding to know why i was in another state. I had forgotten about the tracking app at this point. I realised thats how they knew and I just deleted the app. Then came the calls from both my parents, both of them saying how dangerous it is for me to not be tracked by them all the time. I told them Im paying for my own life now, i value my privacy and I dont feel comfortable with the app. This has really infuriated my dad and upset my mom because she thinks Im trying to cut them off completely or something. They said if I dont turn it back on, that Im not welcome at Thanksgiving this year. AITA?

When my 3year old niece swallowed my sister’s left AirPod, everyone started worrying right away. I was trying to lighten the situation, so I connected the AirPod to my phone and put my ear on her stomach to check if I could hear it. Surprisingly, I actually did hear a little sound coming from inside her, which made the moment a bit funny for me. But the people around us didn’t really find it amusing. They all looked at me like I wasn’t taking things seriously at all. I was just trying to calm the mood, but instead I ended up being the only one laughing while everyone else was still stressing about the AirPod inside her.

I (25F) recently got married to my (25M) husband in Bali, Indonesia in January. It was a destination wedding, but my parents and his parents paid for their own plane tickets and hotel, but we paid for our friends plane tickets and hotel stays. Each plane ticket was about $2000 USD and hotel was maybe about $150-300 for a week. My friend “Gemma” brought along her newly wed husband “John” along but paid for his plane ticket. The problem is that Gemma and John did not show up to my wedding. Gemma took the free plane ticket to Bali and the hotel room and when I asked her why she didn’t show up she said that since they couldn’t afford their own honeymoon that this was a perfect opportunity and that Jim decided that he didn’t feel like going. I was really hurt by this since Gemma and I have been friends for over 10 years. WIBTA if I took her to small claims court for the money I spent on the plane ticket and hotel?

20F, my friend is 21F. I always carry a USB killer in my backpack. It looks like any other thumb drive except I stuck a tiny devil face sticker on it so I know it’s the dangerous one. I keep it on me because I still live at home and my parents are super nosy; if I ever left it on my desk they’d definitely pick it up and plug it into their laptop to “see what it is.” Yesterday I had to leave campus in a rush and asked my friend to watch my bag for a bit. I ended up not having time to come back so I just texted her to take it home and I’d grab it today. She said cool. She gets home, admits she got curious and started looking through my stuff, finds the devil sticker USB, thinks it’s my normal drive, plugs it into her gaming PC to see what files I have. Computer instantly dies, mobo and PSU completely gone. Now she’s mad at me, saying I’m reckless for carrying something like that and I need to buy her a whole new setup, even though she knows she shouldn’t have been digging around in my bag in the first place. I feel bad her PC is dead but come on, don’t snoop and don’t plug random drives into your computer. AITA?

Edit: I sent this to my son and dil. My son and dil ( Emily) are staying in our home probably for the next month due to water damage in there home. The company is fixing the damage but the flooring was damaged so it’s not very livable right now. They have only been here less than a week and I am having an issue. I work nights I come back home around 6:30 am and then go to bed. My husband is usually up so I make him a coffee/ breakfast before I turn in. Just something like to do, more quality time before he heads to work. I asked my son and Emily if they would also like coffee or breakfast before they go to work. They said no to food but yes to coffee. That was easy and I just made two extra cups. I asked them to tell me if they want me to change how to make their coffee. I thought they would just tell me, use this cream or if they had a preference on blend. Emily texted me last night and said she left instructions for the coffee. This morning I came home to very detail instructions how to make a complex coffee. It was like a Starbucks drink, she wanted foamed milk on top, different syrups, a specific coffee bean ( ground fresh…) and a difffernt brewing method ( we have a drip coffee machine) most of the stuff was one the counter. I decided I wasn’t doing that and just made the normal coffee. Emily wasn’t happy and we got into a argument before she went to work I basically told her I am not a Starbucks barrista and I am not going all that. She told me I shouldn’t have offered in the first place if I wouldn’t make the coffee to her liking. We left on a sour note. I have been getting texts from my son about not being hospitable so I am having trouble sleeping at the moment Should I just make the coffee

The gym I go to doesn’t have a lot of treadmills and I’ve recently started running. I went to the gym with my partner last night and all of the treadmills were in use. I used some weight machines to start then went back to the treadmills.  I noticed there was a girl just sat on the treadmill while her friend was using the treadmill next to her. She’d been there for at least 15 mins not using it so I went up and asked if she was planning to use it. She said she was with her friend but I just said she can wit next to her friends machine instead of taking up machines from people who want to use them,  She shrugged her shoulders and refused to move. A women comes over and asks what’s happening so I explain it. She said she’s the girls mother and that I shouldn’t be telling her daughter to move.  I just said her daughter shouldn’t be taking up machines she has no intention of using. She said her daughter is feeling to sit there if she wants and that she’s doing nothing wrong. I just said I can see where her daughter gets her entitlement from.  She said I was out of order for commenting on her parent but I just said she should be a better parent if she can’t handle any criticism.  A member of staff came over and when I explained why was going on, asked the daughter to move off the treadmill or leave the gym.  My gf said maybe I shouldn’t have argued with the mother but I don’t see how I’ve done anything wrong.  AITAHfor asking a girl to get off a treadmill in the gym then arguing with her mother?

My (45F) son (15M) had been dating this one girl from his school for about one and a half months. In that 1.5 month period they probably saw each other outside of school like 7 times. They would always plan stuff, but maybe the day (sometimes the hour 🙄) before he’d say he couldn’t come because he had no ride, even though it was mostly because he wanted to do something else with his friends or stay home. And his girlfriend had enough of it and broke up with him a few days back. When he told me,I said good because he cancelled at that girl so many times and didn’t seem to want to date her anyways. And the girl was so nice too. My husband thought I was being insensitive so I posted this here. AITA?

To start throw away for privacy and sorry in advance for typos I need a new keyboard. So I (21M) work as a guard for a smallish warehouse. Since I started working here I decided to start carry a wide supply things that people may need in by backpack. Things like mints, gum, ibuprofen/Tylenol, bandages, etc. It got to the point where I earned the name Pack, as people joked that I was like a pack mule with all the shit i carried on me. Basically if someone needed something there was a 9/10 chance that I had it or something close. I did this as a way to talk to people and strike up conversations. This incident revolves around a couple basic items I carried. Feminine products. Things like pads, tampons, basic perfume/deodorant, and some lotion. I noticed my female coworkers often needed these and as we work night shift, no stores were open for them to run to on break. It was a massive success you could say, a lot of the women were either grateful that I had them or surprised that a guy wasn't ashamed to carry them. The incident surround one woman, Jane Doe. So it was last Monday and I was manning the gate with a coworker, John. As I am writing the logs for incoming trucks, Jane pulled up to leave through the gate. And John asks why she was leaving early, we have to ask, and Jane said she had to go get some pads. And I spoke up and said "John, go in my bag, zipper with the pink tag. There's regular and heavy." So John gets them and offers them to her and she takes some. And she just had this weird look on her face and mutter thanks and went back in to the warehouse. John and I didn't think anything of it and went back to our duties. Well flash forward to last Tuesday and I got called into HR. They sat me down and gave me a talking to for making a female coworker feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I was confused and asked what they were talking about. HR clarified that Jane had lodged a complaint against me. Luckily they let me tell my side of the story and reviewed the camera footage from our gate booth. So HR cleared me and just advised me to steer clear of Jane for a while. Jane told all of her work friends about it, so a rumor was born that I was a creep.Well I can tolerate someone going to HR, cause if I did nothing wrong I have nothing to fear. But I wont tolerate being called a creep. (Context for that, I started balding at 16 and am overweight. So all through high school I was called "creepy" and "weird" for my looks.) So I decided that if it was creepy that I had these products, then I would stop carrying them. I took them out of my bag and left them in HRs office. This led to all of the women in the warehouse from asking me what happened and why I stopped carrying the products. I told the truth and referred them all to confirm with HR if they didn't trust me. Ever since Jane has been disliked and very unpopular. She called me an asshole for causing her to be alienated and basically bullied. I don't feel bad about it. So am I?

I have twin sons (aged 11) who are not identical, but who do look similar - their older sister looks pretty similar to them too. "James" is taller and slightly more slender in the face. "Ben" is more freckle-y and is noticeably paler. They have the same eye and hair colour, but James has longer hair, and his is more wavy than Ben's. James tends to be very neat and tidy while Ben is, somehow, always covered in ink and / or paint. In school, they are in uniform so are dressed identically. Classes are split by ability but their scores are close enough to each other that they are in the same groups for everything though they have different friendship groups and different hobbies. Both go to Chess Club though that is the only club / sport they have in common and most of the time, they don't interact much in school and each does their own thing. They have, however, when asked, told me they do sometimes get called the wrong name still even though they have been there since September. Both boys have permission to take medication in school due to seasonal allergies and eczema - antihistamines and eczema cream is stored in school for the boys to access as and when needed. They use different medication and creams which is personal preference - one has liquid and one has tablets and they use different creams as they find different ones helpful. I have sent in the permission slips and meds and left it at that. I got an email over the holiday regarding the medication. It states the instances of the boys being mixed up are "not reducing" as they look so similar and the Medical Officer (secondary schools in the UK do not have a school nurse) is concerned the wrong child will be given the wrong medication. As such, she has asked me to ensure the boys are "easy to distinguish" going forwards. My initial reaction is absolutely not. It is up to the person administering the medication to ensure they are giving it to the right person and that can easily be done by asking the child what his name is. They are 11 years old, they are more than capable of giving the right name and have no interest at all in swapping places for the sake of getting each others meds. I do understand the concern in terms of making sure the right medication is given to the right child, but the responsibility for that lies solely with the school while they are in the care of the school, and I will not be send them back after the holiday looking in any way "easy to distinguish." WIBTA if I told the school it was their responsibility to make sure they have the right child, not mine?

so i went out last night w some friends. one of them (let’s call her Sarah) offered to drive since she doesn’t drink and said she’d stay sober. cool. everything was fine until like 1am when she suddenly says she’s “too tired” and wants to leave. i told her i was good staying and i’d just uber home later. she kept saying she “felt responsible” for me and wouldn’t leave without me. it honestly turned into a whole thing and i didn’t feel like arguing in the middle of the club so i just went with her. then once we get to the car she goes, “actually i’m gonna go to my bf’s place, it’s closer.” his place is like 20 mins the opposite direction from mine. she drives there, pulls into a gas station near his house and tells me to just call a ride from there. the uber back to my place was $25 bc of surge. if she had just left me at the club like i originally said, i would’ve paid and not cared. but she basically forced me to leave bc she “felt responsible” and then dropped me off halfway so she could see her bf. so yeah i venmo requested her the $25. now she’s mad saying i’m ungrateful because she already “gave me a ride” and my other friends think i’m being petty over 25 bucks. idk. it’s not even really about the money. it just feels weird to drag someone out and then leave them at a gas station. AITA?

My granddaughter is in 4th grade and she struggles in reading. She doesn’t have a learning disability, it is just a subject that she struggles in. Recently my daughter in law had to go back to work ( she was a SAHM) because of financial reasons. She started about two weeks ago and due to this I now babysit after school for an hour or two before they come and pick her up.  I have been having her do her homework in that time. It has become very obvious she is a very poor reader ( I would say she is behind a grade in the subject). She asks me all the time to read a question for her, and I have started sitting down with her having her read out loud ( which she hates).  She doesn’t know how to sound stuff out if that makes sense and is extremely slow at it.  If the word is longer than like 4 letters she doesn’t really get it. Example: we had to sound out the word broken I have brought it up my DIL and asked if there is any extra reading practice she wants me to do. She said they have been working on it and will bring her tablet that has some stories she is reading and to just have her read for a bit after homework is done.  This is the issue, DIL gave me the tablet and headphones and told me where the app was.  We finished the homework and I told her to read her story. The app reads it out loud…. Grandkid doesn’t even follow along…. She just kinda stares and sit there. So I took the tablet  and gave her a child books and made her read it.  I would give her a min or two and then have  her tell me what happened on that page. And have her show me any words she doesn’t get and have her sound them out.  When my DIL came back, I informed her what happened and handed back the tablet. She was upset that I am not using the tablet and read along are helpful. I told her her daughter is not reading along, and she actually needs to practice reading not listening  She got mad at this and asked it was questions her parenting and I said no but it doenst change the fact she needs to actually practice reading  She has been pissed since and my son called telling me to use the tablet. I also said no and she will be reading physical books and if he has a problem with that then he can get another babysitter.  They are pissed at me but are still having me babysit. My husband thinks they are being idiots but I could have been nicer about this. 

I have never been big on birthdays, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate them, I just prefer something low-key: dinner with my closest friends, maybe watch a film, something small basically. Everyone close to me knows this, especially my sister, (let’s call her maya) who loves big gestures and believes every birthday or achievement needs balloons and a theme and much much more. Two weeks before my birthday, Maya started acting strange. She kept asking me if id be “free that Saturday” and acted weirdly when I asked why. I suspected that she was up to something, so I told her AGAIN that I didn’t want a party. She just laughed and said that as per usual I was being no fun. A couple nights ago (the night before my birthday) one of our mutual friends let it slip about it being a party, she mentioned what she was wearing. Anyway turns out the whole family was invited and it was at our parent’s house. Some co-workers were also invited but here’s the kicker - MY FCKING EX. For a little context - me and ex broke up about 2 months ago. It ended pretty badly, no abuse or cheating but it wasn’t a pleasant ending. I’ve made it pretty clear to everyone in my life that I want NO contact. Maya knows this, however she’s told me multiple times that I should just get over the whole situation because he’s a nice guy and that he’s been apart of all our lives for years. The first thing that I did was call maya, demanding answers and she didn’t deny it. She just said that we could finally talk it all out. She admitted that she hadn’t just thrown this party for my birthday but also so everyone could see my ex again and we could fix things between us. She literally said to me that I’d thank her later. I went mad, I said to her she had no right. That I would have been ambushed into the situation, on MY birthday. And this was all after I had specifically said that I didn’t want a party. She just said that I was dramatic and bloody ungrateful, that she had this whole thing planned because I wouldn’t find better and it was a good gift. She said everyone had gifts and travelled. That everyone was excited. So yesterday, my birthday, I completely powered off my phone and didn’t let anyone know other than my best friend so we went out for lunch and went on a walk together. Ended up having a great day. When I finally got home I turned my phone on and it was MENTAL. Maya was fuming, people were disappointed, people even said I embarrassed maya. Maya is now basically saying that I ruined the whole party, and made it all about me (it was literally my birthday). She says that she did it out of a good place in her heart and that I should at least apologise for not showing up and letting people know. So am I the asshole?

My husband and I live abroad. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance (let’s call him “K”) reached out saying he’d been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. At first, we only offered a weekend, but he was polite, helped around the house, and seemed grateful, so we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he’d asked for. During that time, some things rubbed us the wrong way. He never bought groceries, and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay but “forgot his wallet” or claimed he could only use Apple Pay (not accepted at our local supermarket). He’d eat way more than his share (once my husband and I shared half a pizza and he ate the other pizza and a half without contributing). Still, we felt bad for him, so we let it go. We stayed friendly, and a few months later we were planning a 17-day trip. Since he was struggling with rent, we offered him to stay at our place in exchange for taking care of our dog. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house, dog care, gym access, etc. I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire (fruit, veggies, yogurt, etc.). When we came back… EVERYTHING was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese, even my husband’s supplements (creatine, protein, collagen). He completely destroyed a ceramic pan. He consumed things that usually last us six months in just 2 weeks. I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him because it’s insane how much was missing. I didn’t confront him except to ask him to replace the pan, which he mocked me about (“it’s just a pan, why are you making it a big deal?”). I felt deeply disrespected. Now he keeps texting me, acting like nothing happened, and wants to hang out. I told my husband I don’t want him in our home ever again. My husband says I’m being too harsh, and if he wants to stay friends, that’s his choice, but I feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected. So… AITA for not wanting to see this guy ever again and refusing to let him come back to our house?

My (M20) parents divorced when i was 16, and it was messy. I live with my mom now and, her boyfriend "Mark" (43), and Marks son "Liam" (11). Im in my second year of college, which is its own special kind of stress with exams and projects. The dynamic is fine, usually. Mark is okay, but he has a habit of assuming im a newly acquired babysitter. Liam is a good kid, but wasn't raised properly (which is another entire thing) and he's just 11, he's energetic, loud, and is very impersonal and doesn't understand the concept of personal space yet. The issue happened this past Saturday. I had a massive assignment due on Monday morning, and I was planning on spending the entire weekend at the library on campus. On Saturday morning, as I'm packing my bag, Mark comes to me to let me know he and my mom are going away and i need to keep an eye on Liam. I was immediately stressed, so I told him i can't and that i have to go to uni to focus on my uni work. He waved me off and said its fine and i should take him along with me to campus and keep him busy on the tablet. immediately i was liek fuck no, im not taking an 11 year old kid to my university while i need to focus on a big submission. I said no, trying to be firm, saying that i cannot be responsible for him for an entire day at my uni, and i asked if he couldn't stay at a friends or at his grandma's or moms. Marks face fell and he looked genuinely annoyed. He told me its just one day and that trying to organise stuff with other parents and family would be too much of a hassle, and that the least i could do was help out. I couldn't take it honestly, so i snapped. Ive been under a lot of pressure for printing assignments and group work etc, and that was lowk the last straw. I told him that Liam is HIS son, not mine, he is NOT my responsibility, I didn't choose to have a kid when i wasnt ready and my only obligation is to get my degree and move out. They both went silent for a bit, visibly upset and after a while Mark just said its fine and that i shouldn't bother asking them favours in the future. My mom later that day texted me and said i was disrespectful and hurtful, which i did lose my temper slightly but i feel like they had no right to try and force Liam as my responsibility so last minute. AITA for what i said?

This still weighs on me. Some background: my mom was abusive growing up. It got bad enough that at 12, I left home through the courts and moved in with my dad. That decision fractured our family. On the court paperwork, under “Name of child,” she wrote something like, “I have no son.” I’ve carried that with me ever since. I had little contact with her after that. Briefly at 17, again in my early 20s, and not consistently until much later. I’m now almost 40. I spent over 20 years drinking heavily and finally got sober in 2018, which is when I made an effort to reconnect with my family, including my mom. She’s closer to 70 now and has zero contact with 2 of her 3 kids. Reconnecting wasn’t easy. When I asked if she ever reflected on the abuse, she told me I was an adult and needed to “let it go already.” That was a turning point. I realized any forgiveness would be one-sided. If I wanted peace, it was on me. Since then, our relationship has been rocky, but present. We’ve had family reunions and even travelled overseas together for three weeks. We argue often, usually over small things, but we stayed in contact until this. Last summer, I invited her to my city to see a band she’s loved since I was young. The plan was simple: she’d arrive on Wednesday, we’d go to the concert on Thursday, she’d fly out to visit my sisters on Friday, and I’d leave early Saturday for my own trip. She agreed. When she arrived, she mentioned she’d only bought a one-way ticket and would book the Friday flight later. That made me uneasy, and I reminded her several times to make sure it was booked. I thought I was clear in my wording and tone that I didn’t want anyone staying in my house while I was gone. Friday came. The concert was fine. Then she told me she still hadn’t bought a plane ticket, and now, with prices having gone up, she planned to stay a few extra days… while I was away. I told her plainly, “I’m leaving at 5 a.m. tomorrow. You need to get on that plane.” I even offered to cover the extra cost. She refused and invited herself to stay at my place. That’s when I said clearly that I wasn’t comfortable with anyone staying in my home while I wasn’t there. She accused me of not trusting her and said she was my mother. I said it wasn’t about trust, I just didn’t want anyone in my house. The argument escalated. Finally, she said, “Fine. Take me to the airport.” I think she expected me to cave. I didn’t. I packed the car, grabbed my daughter, and drove her to the airport in silence. When we arrived, it felt like a standoff, like she was waiting for me to say, “Never mind, don’t go.” I didn’t. I took her bag out, set it on the curb, and told her, “If you can’t find a ticket, let me know. I can help you pay for a hotel.” Then I left. Months later, I’m still thinking about it. I don’t think I stranded my mom with no options. I offered to cover the cost of the flight and hotel. But I did leave her at the airport knowing she hadn’t booked a ticket. AITA?

This happened a couple of years ago but I was talking about crazy MIL stories with a friend and she thinks I was an AH. I have sole custody of my children. My ex and his family live about a 9 hour drive from me. One day at around 9am there was knocking on my bedroom window. I peeked through the bottom of the blinds and just see woman’s sneakers. So I peek higher and make eye contact with my ex’s mom. All I can think is WTF? The apartments where I live are not gated so anybody can drive onto the property, just not go in buildings without a key. Which means, ex’s mom couldn’t knock on my door because she couldn’t enter my building. Anyway, now that she’s seen me I change and go see why she’s there. Only reason why she has my address is because a few months back she asked to mail some stuff for the kids & I dumbly gave her my address. She tells me she was in the neighborhood. I asked her why she didn’t call me before arriving and she said it was a “last minute decision”. I let her in and she sees the kids for a bit. When she leaves I tell her next time she needs to give me a heads up before arriving, and I’m not talking 10 minutes before, I need at least a 1 week notice. So, this is where I might be the AH. About 4 months later she pulls this stunt AGAIN. When I hear the tapping on my window. I know exactly who it is. I don’t bother looking out the window. She starts calling me. After the 5^(th) call, I answer. She tells me to open up because she wants to see the kids. I’m like what? I’m not even home- why she didn’t tell me she was coming? I’m 45 minutes away visiting my dad with the kids. She demands dad’s address - I refuse to give it to her. I tell her I have no idea when I will be home. Yes, complete lie. Anyway, she doesn’t believe me, she thinks I’m home, again says it was a last minute decision. I hang up on her, I’m getting texts from ex demanding I let his mom see the kids. I tell him what I told her -I’m not home. Imagine my surprise when I hear the police banging on my door a few minutes later! I don’t answer. I get a call from a random number - the police officer. He is there to perform a wellness check because ex’s mom hasn’t heard from me in 3 days and she’s extremely worried. Also, according to him, it is illegal not to answer the door when a police officer knocks. I tell him she is lying- I just spoke to her on the phone, she showed up unannounced. I made it clear to her not to do that, and I am out with family and I don’t need to come back just because she showed up unannounced, she is ex’s mom and I don’t have to talk to her.  After that phone call I get a text from ex calling me an AH and how hard would it have been to let his mom see the kids when she drove all the way there just to see them. I want to make it clear – I don’t mind her visiting, I don’t mind her being around my kids – but I cant stand her showing up unannounced and demanding to see my kids like that. It was like she was on a weird power trip.

My wife’s best friend (Jessie) lost her husband about a month ago. My wife has been at her home almost every single day since.  My job has me being on call some nights and money is tight so I can’t not be on call. I know Jessie is struggling but it is stressing me out a ton to be a basically a single parent  since my wife is never home. I have talked to her about cutting back but that ends in an argument about me being heartless. Yesterday I was on call and I actually got called in. I couldn’t leave our two daughters home alone ( 6 & 9) so I called my wife telling her she needs to head home now, I need to leave.  She told me no, and to figure it out.  We don’t have the money for a sitter,  my parents  live too far away, her parent aren’t allowed near the kids ( they suck) and my friends have their own lives/families. So I packed up the kids and one my way to work dropped them off at Jessie’s house. My wife was pissed that I did that. When I got back we got into a huge argument and I told her that she actually needs to be a parent. That I am very sick of her playing house at Jessie’s house and we have our own kids.  She thinks I am “ a heartless fucking man” and I told her to be parent to our own kids 

Throwaway bc my roommates know my main account. So, I (23M) live in a college apartment with 3 roommates, two of which are women, and one of them is Muslim (let's call her sana). We all get along pretty well and have lived together for over a year with no issues. Yesterday, Sana told us her mom was visiting for the upcoming weekend. For info, her mom is very conservative and religious, and apparently doesn’t approve of her daughter living with male roommates (Awkward because I exist). As a result, Sana asked if I could leave the apartment entirely for the day her mom was visiting. Like, be out the whole day and even find somewhere else to sleep overnight. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that bc I had a major assignment due, and I focus best when I’m working from home. I also didn’t wanna have to pack up all my stuff and go stay somewhere else just to keep up an appearance for someone I don’t even know. Additionally, I pay equal rent and felt like I had a right to be in the apartment. Still, to try and compromise, I offered to stay in my room the entire day and be quiet/ not come out at all on the condition that I’d at least be allowed to quickly come out to make lunch or dinner, or they could just bring food to my room so I wouldn’t starve. I genuinely thought that was fair and respectful. But no, sana wasn’t happy with that and insisted I should be out of the apartment entirely. She said her mom would “freak out” if she found out a guy lived there and it would cause a lot of drama in her family. I said while I understood her position, I wasn't going to dip from my own home, especially with a big deadline hanging over me. She's still pissed and being pretty cold toward me now and also vented to our other roommate, who stayed neutral and said she saw both sides. I really wasn’t trying to be difficult or disrespectful. I understand her cultural situation, but I also feel like it’s unfair to expect someone to completely vacate their home just to accommodate someone else’s family’s beliefs especially when I tried to find a middle ground. So, AITA?

More context: We were out to dinner one night at an expensive hotel. My boyfriend let me borrow his Canon G7X (1800) camera to bring to take pictures with my friends. At the conclusion of the dinner, I went up to the room and realized the camera was gone. I went back right down to the table and no one had seen it. I immediately got with hotel security and she is on video, clear as day, swiping the camera when my back was turned and shoving it in her purse. I covered for her initially with my friend, and contacted her to find a resolution. She had taken the camera with her and my other friends to a club after dinner, which I did not attend, and lost it there. For background, this is my good college friend who I know well (the camera thief). She has been taken on free trips to Coachella and St Barths on my dime (not kidding), as well as many other things. We have done a lot together and are good friends, so I expected her to feel sorry. Initially she lied, saying she did not have it. When I told her we had video, she confessed and then said yes she took it but lost it at the next bar she went to with my other friends. It is now gone. I asked her to help me replace it by going in on me with the cost. She has refused all measured or resolutions, and now I feel I have nothing left to do but file a police report and let them handle it. It is impacting my relationship, and I am furious my friend is not helping at all. Why should I be on the hook for something she stole? I have given her three weeks to help me resolve this, but she insists she is going to do nothing. I am being pressed by my boyfriend to either replace the camera or help him file a report with her info and the footage. I even asked her to just throw in half or less than half the cost to help, but she still refuses. I do not want her to get in trouble, but I am at the point where I feel she really does not care. UPDATE: I sent her a text this AM telling her if I do not receive full cost of the camra or shipping confirmation of a new camera from an approved vendor to a provided address by end of day Friday, we will be filing a report with the police Saturday AM. I felt like an asshole typing this out to her, but I have to do it.

edited to be clear This started soon after my brother married Ruby. At the time everyone seemed to really like her and my older sister and I were part of her bridal party.  Her wedding was around 5 years ago. Soon they were talking about trying to kids and they were stuggling with infertility issues. Ruby was quite upset  but it got a lot worst when my older sister ( she was 26 at the time) got pregnant.  Ruby was snappish and mean to my oldest sister and people tried to be very mindful since she was struggling. When the baby was born Rudy didn’t send anything.  I got pregnant my senior year of college, it was an oops baby and I only told my mom because I was unsure what to do. I was a heavy drinker at family events and when I wasn’t drinking, my grandma joked I must be pregnant and my face gave it away. That is how it came out, I didnt plan to tell the family like that. Ruby ( in short) lost her shit at me. She yelled at me about how I don’t deserve a kid and called me a lot of names. My mom tried to make her stop but she yelled at her also, and told my mom she deserved the still birth she had. The whole thing was horrible. When I gave birth and I posted pictures online, she made a post saying some people don’t deserve kids. She has not apologized. The issue, Ruby is pregnant and she is having her baby shower. All the women in the family got an invite. I talked to my mom about it and decided not to go. My mom is also not going and everyone seems to be following my lead on this.  We all RSVPed no and my brother called me asking me to come. I told him no and it started an argument. He says his wife has been crying about being hated by the family and want everyone to make up. I told him that isn’t my problem and this is her fault. He wants me to suck it up and come still and has texted me multiple times about it. I know if I don’t go no one else will especially since my mother hates Ruby after that argument edit: becuase people asked, no we probably won’t have a relationship with the baby If nothing changes. I already don’t allow my kid near her, I have a strict if you are dick to me you don’t have access to my kids ( sister has the same) Mom probably will not be a grandparent to the child either, she will not put up with someone she hates to have access to a kid ( she is not that type of person)

So my daughter started school last Wednesday, and the teacher asked us to send pull-ups, wipes, and a change of clothes for her. I sent quite a few pull-ups, and a brand new pack of wipes, and an outfit as requested. Only the bottoms for her outfit came back, and I saw another student from her class, wearing her shirt when I went to pick her up. Now, I don’t mind if the teacher needs to use some of my daughter’s pull-ups for the other kids, or even some of her wipes. I’ll send extra of those things if needed because I understand what it’s like to be the parent that can’t provide that. However, when it comes to her clothes, I’m not OK with sharing. For starters, if they get sent home on a kid (like the shirt did) then there’s a chance that the school won’t get it back, and clothes are really expensive and I can’t afford to replace them like that. It all pretty much boils down to the fact that my daughter doesn’t really have that many clothes to begin with, so I can’t really afford for them to get ruined, or for them not to get sent back. So, I’m just curious if it would make me the asshole if I talk to her teacher the next day that she goes to school, and tell her that I’m not comfortable with her using her clothes for other children.

This happened over the holidays and my wife is still upset with me over it. Our family went to visit my in-laws for New Year's. It's about a 3-4 hour drive. Mostly highway but it takes us through two metro areas with pretty significant traffic. My wife (37F) gets nervous about driving in traffic so I always drive when we visit her family. She also tends to get car sick on longer drives and needs to sit in the front seat to help ease it. She has tried taking Dramamine in the past but she's had an allergic reaction to it so she doesn't take it anymore. I love my wife with all my heart, but she is not good sitting shotgun. She makes huge reactions to any change in traffic. Grabbing the handle, putting her hand on the dash, gasping, telling me to watch out, etc. It's not like I'm an aggressive or risky driver. I've never gotten a speeding ticket or been in an accident. But if there's a car a half mile ahead of us that puts on their brakes, she freaks out and acts like we're all about to die. It's incredibly distracting. I've talked to her multiple times about how her reactions actually makes it more difficult for me to concentrate on driving but she says she can't control herself because she's nervous in traffic. On the way to her family's place she sat up front with me and traffic was pretty bad. Lots of slowdowns due to weather conditions and in general just kind of slow going. But I've been driving in cold weather my whole life and know how to control my speed and give lots of extra space to any surrounding cars. I understand that you can't control anyone else on the road and that accidents happen, but I do everything in my control to keep my car and the people inside safe. The entire drive my wife was on edge making all the reactions I mentioned. It's very distracting to have someone next to you doing that sort of thing while driving. I mentioned this to my wife numerous times on the drive and she always deflected blame at me for the way I was driving. When we were getting ready to head home, I told my wife she needs to sit in the back and our 14-year-old son will sit up front with me. I told her it's either that or she drives us home. She got upset with me and started giving excuses about her car sickness. I told her to take some Nyquil or something else to help her sleep but she refused and told me I'm being a jerk. I told her that she can drive then and she refused that too. Eventually, she reluctantly got in the backseat with our 11-year-old daughter. The ride home was much easier traffic-wise and my wife sat pretty much silent in the backseat the entire time, pouting. When we got home she told me that she felt ill the entire drive but didn't say anything because she "didn't want to make a big deal out of anything." She told me I humiliated her by making her sit in the back and that I should be more considerate of her feelings.

My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my siblings, parents, and their kids. Roughly 20-25 people (including kids). My family is only 2 people with one 6 month old baby. In the group chat it was decided that my nephew would cook meat since he bought a grill. He also told us that we could bring the sides. He chose to spend $300 on meat. I messaged in the group chat that we would bring mashed potatoes. My sister responding that every "family" has to bring $100 worth of food minimum or help my nephew pay for the meat. I'm not totally against the idea of bringing that much food, but just the way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset. The following day in the group chat, my sister said: "Option 1: bring food enough for everyone, not just yourself Option 2: help thomas pay for meet $100/family Option 3: help dad pay water bill $200/family. Choose wisely…" Upset, I responded with Option 4: don't show up. Am I being an asshole if I don't show up at all in "protest" to this $100 minimum rule? Update: I'm a teacher and she posted a picture of my salary she found online to shame me in the group chat. Definitely not going now.

When I went to china I bought myself a yixing teapot. This is a clay unglazed pot that gets “seasoned” the more you make tea in it. Kinda like a cast iron pan. Since it is unglazed you can not wash it with soap, or any rough sponges.  You clean it by using hot water and then you let it air dry. Nothing else. This is the issue, I left for a work trip and my friend watched my cat. ( I paid her) I told her she can use anything in the kitchen. My yixing teapot is not in the kitchen and neither are any of my fancy loose leaf teas for it. I have a normal kettle in the kitchen for guests to use. I can back and found the yixing teapot in my sink and it smells like soap. It also has multiple scratched on the inside. I called her up and she told me she used it becuase she loved the tea I make with it. She then washed it with a rough wire sponge and used soap. She didn’t know where my sponges were and didn’t want to put it in the dishwasher I tried to fix it and I couldn’t, anything in it comes out with the taste of soap and the scratches are just getting bigger with every boil I try. It’s ruined. I called her up and asked her to replace it since she ruined it. She told me to just clean it and I told her I have tried. She agreed and I sent her to the teapot form the same store I bought mine that was most similar ( it’s actually cheaper then the one I bought in china)  It is about 500 dollars. She called me pissed after I sent her the link, and refusing to pay it. She claims I should have told her not ot use it. I pointed out that it was behind glass and I didn’t think I needed too. I asked her to pay again and she is pissed. Should I just cut my losses

Sorry if there are any sentences that are missing words, this was over 5000 characters when I first wrote it so I had to edit it down. She is my SISTER IN LAW not my sister. My SIL has three little ones, and her husband (my step brother) had to leave the country for work for a few months. I offered to stay so I could help her out where needed, and she happily accepted. I live across town so not THAT far. I was there for 3 days when my SIL commented on me going on daily walks. I have taken a daily walk of at least a mile since October 2018. Yes, even with a cold, yes, even in cold weather, yes to all of it. On nice days the walk is usually 4 miles. At my SILs, I started taking a path that was about two miles. I asked if she wanted me to watch the kids while she got some exercise and she scoffed and said she was too busy, but it must be nice. I was a little puzzled since I was offering to help. But the comments kept coming. She kept trying to poke holes. “But it’s not REALLY a mile every day right?” and “What would you do if you broke your foot? Would you get anxious if you couldn’t take a walk?” Then one morning I couldn’t find my shoes. My SIL woke up an hour later, I was eating breakfast with the kids, and I asked her. She told me to go check the back door, and when I’d gotten back, she pointed at them by the door and said I must have missed them. I took my walk after telling her that her joke wasn’t funny. She was annoyed when I got back and told me that she thinks I need to see a therapist over my anxiety/obsession. I told her that I do have a therapist, and she said I clearly need a new one because this one isn’t helping. I asked her point blank why does it bother her so much if I want to take a walk? She said I was supposed to be there to help her with the kids and I’m disappearing for hours at a time. I told her that my walks take about 30 minutes, and I’m doing it while they have down time. I put my shoes in the guest room with the rest of my things and they were gone the next morning. I just said fuck it and packed my things and left. My SIL called me when I was on my way home and said I was overreacting and being childish and this is why I am single and alone. I told her that I don’t play these stupid games and that I would still pick up the girls and stay until she got home from work but that she’s on her own for everything else. AITA? edit: Ok I did not expect to be told I'm NTA to this degree. I thought a lot more people would have arguments why I was since it has to do with taking care of kids.

My best friend and her husband have 4 kids, 8f, 6f, 4f, and 3f. My friend’s husband is a great dad when someone is there to help. When he’s alone with all 4 kids he gets overwhelmed and freezes. A few weeks ago my friend was sick so I brought over dinner. We thought it was just a bad cold. When we were eating, my friend went to the bathroom and the 3 year old followed her. 3 year old came running out saying her mom was throwing up. All of the kids ran to the bathroom, followed by me and my friend’s husband. I helped her clean up while her husband went to get her nausea medicine and a thermometer. When he came back I asked him to get the kids out of the bathroom so she could have some space. After we got the kids out, I took her temp and it came back at almost 104, so I went out to get her some Tylenol and water. I get back and the kids are all in the bathroom again because their dad can’t keep them away from the bathroom for 2 minutes. I give her the Tylenol and water and she almost immediately starts to vomit again, then passes out. Her husband just stood there while I was trying to get her into recovery position, get the kids away from her, and call 911. I managed to get all of them out of the bathroom and her husband is coming back every 20 seconds asking if I can call their nanny to help with the kids, if I can go to the hospital with her, did I start the dishwasher or does he need to hand wash the youngest’s sippy cup, etc. When my friend regained consciousness, he even started asking her how to do bedtime for the little ones, did she wash their pajamas yet, did they get screen time that day or can he put on a movie. I told him his wife couldn’t hold his hand right now and he just had to figure it out. He told me he’s not usually the one that deals with this and he’s trying his best, then goes back to asking what stories the kids like, what setting does he put the sound machine on, and how do they like their milk. I just snapped and told him to figure it out on his own and called him a useless piece of shit. It’s been nearly a month and he still acts all pissy when I stop by the house. My friend says he’ll get over it but my boyfriend thinks I was unnecessarily rude and he was trying his best. AITA for calling him a useless piece of shit when he couldn’t handle his own kids while his wife was experiencing a medical emergency?

I (30F) came back from Japan about two months ago and brought home an expensive bottle of sake I specifically picked after doing a sake tasting class. I'm not a big drinker, so I chose something I genuinely liked and that my husband would enjoy. It was meant as a "for us" thing. I also had an unopened bottle of German wine that a friend gifted me three months ago. My husband and I had multiple conversations where he asked if he could give the sake to his father, his cousin, or his friends, and I said a strict no every single time. Not vaguely, not jokingly, very clearly. He knew it was sentimental and partially a souvenir. He also refused to drink it the one time I opened it because he had a headache, so I had about 20 ml and left the rest untouched. Fast forward to three days ago: I'm away from home, and he has friends over after a pub night. I didn't even consider that he would touch the sake or the wine because we've had the "don't share this" conversation *a million times*. The next day, I ask him where the sake is. He casually tells me he shared the sake and the unopened wine with his friends, and they finished everything. I was stunned. Angry. Disappointed. All of it. He then says he "forgot" that I told him not to give it to anyone. Then adds that he "doesn't remember unimportant stuff." Bear in mind, I had even given him a bottle of whisky specifically meant for his friends after I returned from my travel. When I confronted him about the sake and wine, he flipped it and said "Don't let it spoil our relationship" and suggested I see a counselor. AITA for being this upset over something he claims is "not a big deal," even though I'd told him explicitly and repeatedly not to touch it? I'm unable to process the fact that my husband casually crossed a major boundary and is nonchalant about it. Edit: Husband and his friends are not alcoholics. He rarely indulges. Second edit: He said, "Don't let it spoil our relationship,", not "throwing away the relationship..." Sincere apologies.

We went to a restaurant for my MIL bday lunch. When orders were being taken, SIL announced that ALL the kids would be having kids meal tenders and fries with juice. My 9yo and 4yo eat adult meals, 2 chicken tenders and handful of fries will not fill them up so when the waiter got to me, I told him my kids will have adult meals since I'm the one paying for them, so they ordered their meals and my SIL was pissed. She said I embarrassed her and made her kids question her, because she told them they were getting "the same thing all the other kids were eating"...so. Am I the AH?

My niece (11) is the youngest child with 4 older brothers. She’s also the youngest cousin/grandchild and the only girl. Between that and the fact that she was very sick when she was little, she’s a little spoiled by everyone except her parents. When she turned 11, she told her mom she wanted to go on a weekend trip with just her and her mom. Her mom made a big deal about her wanting to exclude her dad and brothers. They refused to do the trip and also didn’t plan anything for her birthday so I took her on her trip myself. Last month was one of her brothers birthdays. He decided that for his birthday, he wanted everyone to go to Mexico except for my niece. Her parents agreed that it was fair because if she wanted a trip without them, they can get one without her. They asked me if I could watch her for 10 days. My niece was so upset so I decided to plan a surprise trip for her. I have some clients in Miami so I arranged for us to go there for 5 days, drive up to Orlando for 3 days, then fly to New York for 2 days, where I also had to get some work done. It was technically a work trip but I was able to plan a lot of fun outings for my niece. Just before their trip to Mexico, I told my nieces parents that I had to be in Florida and New York for work during their trip but I could take her with me. Since it was so last minute, they had to agree as they didn’t have any other childcare and couldn’t miss this trip. She had a blast. We spent a day in Disney world, went to 2 broadway shows, spent most of our time in Florida on the beach, did a lot of shopping, got room service for the first time, and our tickets were upgraded so we flew first class on our way home. Her parents are mad that I spoiled her and undermined them so I don’t get to see her as much as I used to (I’m still their after school childcare so I see her a few days a week) and they’re going around telling extended family that I took their kid across the country without permission because I was upset about her being punished for being rude

I (31M) go to the same gym most mornings before work. Its a normal chain gym like no one of those influencer gyms but people still record sets sometimes. There are signs about not filming other members without consent but its not like it never happens. A few weeks ago this woman (I'll call her Jenna) started setting up a tripod near the cable machines, I didnt care like i'm not trying to police anyone I just did my workout and stayed out of the way. But then I kept noticing I was showing up in her videos anyway in the background. One day I was doing lateral raises and her phone was pointed straight through the mirror so you could see a big chunk of the floor behind her. I only noticed because I could literally see myself in the mirror on her screen when I walked past. I'm not saying she was doing it on purpose but I also dont want to be in some stranger's videos at 7am when I'm half awake and sweaty. The first time I said something I tried to keep it casual. I waited until she was between sets and said "hey, I think I'm in the background of that, would you mind adjusting it a bit?" She sighed, moved it slightly and said she was just recording her form. A week later it happened again and this time I said more directly "I'm not comfortable being in your videos, can you point it away from the main floor or keep it tighter?" She got annoyed and said if I dont comfortable I can work out somewhere else cause its a public gym. That's when I got frustrated, I told her its not public, its a private business and I'm not the one filming. She rolled her eyes and walked away. So I went to the front desk and asked what the actual policy is. They told me filming is allowed but if someone doesnt want to be in your shot you're supposed to adjust and staff can step in if it keeps being an issue. I told them I'd already asked her twice. They went over and spoke to her. After that she concerned me near the lockers and said I was a creep for "watching her", that I'm trying to control women at the gym and that now she feels targeted and anxious to come in. Now I'm sitting here wondering if I escalated it to far. I just dont want to be in somebody's content. But I also get how how going to staff can look like a bigger move than just letting it go. AITA?

throw away account cause i don’t want my roommate to see this since i was a teenager i've always slept naked. i always get too hot at night and its just generally way more comfortable for me to sleep that way. whenever i leave my room i'm always dressed, or at the very least have shorts or something on if i'm going to/from the shower. my roommate knows this and up to this point has had no problem with it and we always knock on each others doors anyway to be polite. the issue started when he brought over his girlfriend to stay a couple nights. we all get along pretty well and have all hung out a few times before, but this was the first time she had come over and spent the night. we had all gone out drinking and got home pretty late so once we all walked in we just went straight to sleep. i, of course, went to bed with my usual routine of getting naked and hopping in bed. well, sometime during the night my roommate's girlfriend needed to use the bathroom, but she didn't know which room it was. my room and the bathroom are right next to each other and she opened my door by mistake. i have a vague memory of her opening my door, but i was half asleep and when she closed it i went right back to sleep. the next morning i woke up and my roommate and his girlfriend were upset with me because when she walked in she saw everything and she was mad i would sleep naked when a guest was over in the first place. they both said i need to start wearing clothes to sleep since my roommate's girlfriend is gonna probably be sleeping over more often and it makes her uncomfortable. my argument was that i'm in my own private space away from them and that while i understand it was a mistake, it's still her fault that she walked in on me sleeping. its been a few days and my roommate still won't let it go. i still sleep naked, and now once on purpose he's walked in on me sleeping just to see if i was naked or not. i don't really care about him seeing me naked cause we've seen each other naked before, but this is getting really out of hand. i don't think i should have to wear clothes to sleep just because it makes his girlfriend uncomfortable even though i'm in my own private room. tl;dr my roommate's girlfriend walked in on me sleeping naked in my own room and now they both want me to start wearing clothes to sleep edit: to everyone saying i should lock my door or add a lock, i would really like to. unfortunately the place we're staying at doesn't want us to change the door handles or anything so i can't do that. however i am currently looking into ways to stop my door from opening that isn't like a barricade or that drills into the door/wall

Istill shaking while typing this. My wife (Paula ) and I just got back from a trip. It was our first time away since our twin daughter was born. We gave my mother in law Hakiko a spare key just to check on things if necessary Paula is sentimental. When her grandmother passed away, she left her two handcarved mahogany pieces a desk and a vanity. They were Paula absolute favorite things walked in yesterday and the room was empty. Hakiko was there, all smiles, saying she made a surprise for us by getting rid of that oldie dusty junk to give us a modern look lol She replaced them with some cheap, flatpack furniture. She literally give away/donated Paula inheritance without asking Told her to leave and give me the keys. I changed the locks today. Paula has been in tears. Now the rest of the family are calling me abusive guy and controlling by for isolating paulas from her mother Hakiko over some old piece of junkie wood. They say Hakiko’s heart was in the right place and I'm being an AH for banning a grandmother from seeing her grandkid over furniture! My wife is on my side. She agrees with the ban, but the constant guilt from her family is making me feel like a monster. AITA?

My mom died when I (16f) was a baby. My aunt (my mom’s sister) stepped in and became like a 2nd mom to me. When I was 8 she moved for work so I went from seeing her every day to her flying me out 1-2 times a month plus 1 week of winter break, spring break, and 50/50 over the summer. When I was 12 my dad married Judy and they kept saying she was my new mom and I don’t need to keep visiting my aunt because I have Judy. He also gave my room to Judy’s kids since it was bigger and I refused to share and told my aunt that they decided that I couldn’t fly alone so she either had to fly out to get me or drive all day there and back. I decided to stay with my aunt a few months after my dad married Judy because it was pretty obvious that he cared about his new family more than me. My dad and Judy are getting divorced now because Judy cheated on him and he found out that their new kids weren’t his. He called me and asked me to move back home because he misses me and he doesn’t have any family left. I said no because I like it here. My aunt is a way better parent than my dad was and she’s been dating this guy that comes over on weekends and makes us the best burgers and steaks and he fixes cars up as a hobby/side job so he’s working on one for me. I also really like my school and I have friends here and were really close to a lot of good colleges so I probably won’t even have to move out for college. My dad and his side of the family are upset that I won’t move back because he’s my dad and he needs me but he’s the one that chose his new family over me and them getting divorced isn’t my problem to solve. I don’t really plan to change my mind but I want to know if me refusing to move back makes me an asshole.

I (21m) am a college student. I’m in a frat and I’m gay. It’s not a conservative group (no one has ever given me shit for it) but I’m the only one. Every year my college has a date party to celebrate the end of finals. I didn’t pick the theme; it’s “split a suit.” Basically take the components of a suit and you have to divide that amongst you and your date. I saw the writing on the wall; a lot of guys being shirtless with blazers and suit pants, and a lot of girls in oversized dress shirts and ties with no pants. The issue was that didn’t apply to me. I ended up asking a guy from my class I’ve been casually talking to as a first time hanging out situation (don’t worry, he’s gay too, I’m not delusional). I asked him what he felt comfortable wearing and he said he prefers to be dressed so I told him he could do the dress shirt and pants and I’d be fine with the remainder. So basically I wore a blazer, was shirtless with a tie, and had on boxer briefs. Which, to me, is on theme. None of the guys had an issue but a friend’s gf came up to me and said that it was inappropriate and I was making the girls uncomfortable. I felt embarrassed so my date and I left. My date said I had misled him what the party would be like and I was an AH for not dressing appropriately. Now I feel like a jerk. AITA?

My son (23M) graduated university back in June and he moved back across the country to live with us since he found a job in the area. He’s been in a long distance relationship with his girlfriend, Carmella (21F) until October. She initially took a semester off from college and was living with her mom. However, she’s decided she’s not going back. Her mom said she would have to move out and she had nowhere to go. My son is moving into his own place in January and had invited her to move in already, saying she could get a job in the area. However, she needed to move out sooner, and they both asked me if she could move in. I agree. Neither are paying rent as I personally don’t believe in charging my kids to live here, so it felt wrong to charge Carmella any. I just asked that they clean up after themselves and be respectful of everyone. They agreed. Carmella moved in after Halloween and she’s been a joy to have here. She’s still looking for a job. Most nights, she’s offered to cook dinner to give back to us. I’ve always told her it’s not necessary, but she insists. She’s a good cook, so I tell her if she wants to, have at it.  A week into her living here, she mentioned wanting to make a certain dish but we didn’t have the ingredients. I offered to give her my card so she could buy groceries. Since then, it’s become a regular thing. I didn’t mind it initially. She picked up my groceries as well, and it seemed to be a good deal all around. But then a couple of weeks in, she started wanting to make multiple trips a week and buy things that I normally wouldn’t budget for on a regular basis, such as steak and seafood. I asked her on Sunday when she went to the store to please get everything she needed in one trip. She said okay. I thought that solved the problem. Cut to Monday night, and we finish dinner. She and my son are talking while I’m doing the dishes. Carmella mentions wanting to make steak on Thursday. My son says that sounds good. Carmella says she’ll have to go back to the store. My son turns to me and says “Mom, give her the card.” I tell them no. I say I already gave her money to go shopping on Sunday and told her to get everything she needed. I also said we can’t swing everyone having steaks this week  (6 people in the house), but maybe I can make them for Christmas dinner. I then go on to say if Carmella wants to keep cooking for us, which I appreciate, I am going to put her on a budget. I apologize for not doing it sooner. Carmella looks upset and my son seems offended. Later on, my son tells me I “embarrassed” Carmella when she’s just trying to be nice. I said I appreciate her cooking dinner, but she’s doing it on my dime, and I can’t afford this. I pointed out he’s free to give her money to do this. My son pointed out they’re only here “a few more weeks”, can’t I just make “my guest” happy? Am I really in the wrong here?

I recently bought a car from my aunt and uncle and paid full price for what it was worth ($18,000). I had no problem paying that because I know the car was maintained well and honestly I would not give a family member a discount on something that big either. The problem is my grandma has been boasting to everyone that my aunt gave me the car for free. Idk why she is saying that but it really pissed me off. I worked hard to pay cash for that car and I do not want people thinking I get handouts. So I went to her and politely asked her not to tell people that. Instead she flips it on me and says, “Oh so you want everyone thinking your aunt and uncle made you pay full price? What kind of person does that? Family is supposed to take care of family.” Then she literally shut the door in my face like I was the problem. I told her straight up that it makes me look bad, someone who works 60 to 80 hours a week, if people believe I am just getting handouts.

I have a younger sibling and it seems like I am always helping her. In college I would help her with essays. I would listen to her problems, if she got stuck somewhere I would go and pick her up . She is 24 now and it is got pretty clear that she doesn’t reciprocate helping out. Or does any  favors for family My brother and I have both noticed it. I had a conversation with her about it and she said she would do better. Recently she asked if I could use my house to her engagement dinner and I agreed. It was a big favor in my opinion and I have been helping plan it. My sister lives very close to my kids daycare. I left work and on the way home there was a huge crash on the highway. I wasn’t moving at all ( it took me 4 hours to get to home ). My husband was also stuck in it.  The day care called asking where I was and I told them I am trying to get there. They bill an extra 100 ever 30 mins you are late. I called my sister and asked her to pick up the kids and just hold on to them for a few hours until I can grab them. She told me no and that she wanted to relax tonight. I told her I really need her to do this favor becuase I was stuck  and it didn’t seem like I would be moving anytime soon. I told her I will Venmo her the money for the daycare but to please pick them up. She told me no again and hung up. I ended up calling my MIL, who is an hour away and she was able to pick the kids up and say at our place until we got back around 9. I was in traffic for 4 hours. Tbh I have been pissed since that happened last Thursday. I have helped her over and over again and she could do me a simple favor when she is literally 10 mins away from the daycare becuase she wanted to relax…  I talked it over and my husband and I both agreed we were done helping her. I sent her a text that said, family is suppose to help each other and it has became clear that she only ever wants help and is not willing to help. I told her I will not being hosting her engagement party and will not do her any favors anymore. She called and we got into a huge argument where I called her selfish and she called me petty. I want an outsiders opinion becuase I am pissed about this whole thing.

Our water was shut off today temporarily, and we both had to use the bathroom. I went first, and used the running water from our RO system to wash my hands, since that was the only option besides hand sanitizer. After my wife used the bathroom she immediately sat on the couch next to me, and I asked her “are you going to wash your hands?” She said that she’s not using our only drinking water to wash her hands. That would be understandable, but the plumber will be here within the hour to fix the problem. And also we can go to the store if we really run out of water. I said well at least use hand sanitizer and she said her hands were clean, and then she informed me that she doesn’t wash her hands every time she poops! I told her that’s disgusting and horrible hygiene. She said if she doesn’t get poop on her hands she doesn’t wash. I again said that’s disgusting and horrible hygiene practice. She thinks I’m overreacting and being an asshole, and now she’s refusing to talk to me until I apologize. I don’t think I need to apologize for anything, and I’m not overreacting. So was I being an asshole or am I overreacting? Is that not disgusting?

I (20f) was recently told by my coworker (40m) that he and his wife (37f) were getting divorced for context they had just gotten married last year after dating his wife for 10 years. I've worked at this job since i was 16 and this coworker has become my closest work friend so i was first to know of the engagement and now of the divorce. we bonded over our shared love of videogames (this is relevant i swear). we both played a lot of games and would talk about the ones we love the most. in the time I've know him he's loved final fantasy 14, which is an online game you play with other people. he talked about this game and the people he would hang out with in the game constantly, talking about the hours he spends playing it every day. shortly after he and his wife had gotten married he started complaining about her and her neediness. when i asked about it he would say she wanted him to spend time with her instead of playing video games. i had told him at the time that he should be making time for his wife but he ignored me. over the next year he was constantly complaining about her and her "neediness" and i would suggest taking some time off of his game to hangout with her but my idea was always shutdown. eventually i got fed up with him and asked him to stop bringing it up with me and he did for about 2 months. that's when he told me about her asking for a divorce. I casually mentioned that i wasn't surprised that she was divorcing him seeing as he loved final fantasy more than her. i didn't really think before i spoke and just said what i had been thinking every time he brought up his relationship problems. he was shocked at my response and seemed taken aback. i continued saying all you ever talk about are videogames and every thing you ever told me about your wife was negative. he got very upset with me and complained about it too our other coworkers and our boss. we work in a kitchen with only about 10 staff members so it wasn't too long before everybody knew about what i said. our boss stayed out of it, not seeing my comment as bad enough to warrant any kind of action. Some of my coworkers around my age who also frequently talked with this coworker took my side wile the older ones took his. it has divided the kitchen staff and has made it uncomfortable to work with some of my coworkers who think I'm in the wrong. So, AITAH for saying i wasn't surprised about my coworkers divorce?

Last night my husband, our 2 year old daughter and I were at my in-laws. My sister-in-law and her husband and kids were there too. The topic of one of their cousin's kids going to university came up. We talked about how going to a good university helps in networking. I mentioned how I had gotten my first Business Analyst job because my interviewer had also gone to UofT. At this point my SIL chimed in with "UofT Mississauga right? So not the actual one?" My husband said politely that its the same thing and she just shrugged. I asked her where she went, she said she went to UofT and added St.George Campus. I then asked how she's using her degree (I knew shes a SAHM so thats why Im here that might have been an AH thing to say). She said she chose to be a SAHM mom and kind of stopped talking to me. My husband thinks I was out of line. Admittedly I didn't think it through when I said it, just said what came to my mind. He says her question was tactless but not malicious. I said it was rude and thats what mattered. And the premise of it was just wrong. But I have been reconsidering it. She has texted him about how out of line I was. He's told her it was a misunderstanding between everyone and to let it go. AITA?

My (24F) friend (25F) came to the funeral for my mom, who died of cancer around Christmas time. She came over to me to give me her condolences and asked about the details of how my mom passed. I told her it was my mom’s second battle with cancer and how she had lots of complications. She said “I’m so glad nothing like that has ever happened to me or my family. We’re blessed and highly favored. God doesn’t play about us.” This made me extremely angry. I said “Glad to know your God plays about my family and all the other people in the world dying of cancer.” I caused a scene and got really upset. She and her family said I’m wrong for attacking someone just being kind and offering their condolences, and that’s probably why God didn’t look after my Mom. I said I want them gone from the funeral. Since then, I haven’t spoken to them or any of the people defending them. AITA?

I (42F) have been hosting an end-of-summer party with my neighbors for years. It’s always the same setup: adults and kids come, we all celebrate together, and at some point the kids go to sleep while the adults continue the evening. This year’s plan was the same: I was going to bring my kids (6 & 10yo) inside to sleep at our home which is right next to the backyard. From the balcony there is both audio and visual access to the yard, and my kids also have a phone they can use to call me if needed. After putting them to bed I planned to go back to the backyard for a little while longer to enjoy the evening with friends. I invited my boyfriend of 6 months (46M) and his kids (5 & 7yo) to join us. He declined, saying he didn’t feel comfortable leaving his kids to sleep at my place since they hadn’t stayed there before. He also didn’t like the idea of putting them to bed at my place while he stayed outside with me, or going to bed with them while I stayed outside. I told him I understood completely, and I didn’t have a problem with him choosing not to come. But then he got upset and said that he and his kids weren’t actually welcome at the party because of the way the party was set up. I explained that this party has been running for years with the same format, and it’s not really something I can or want to change for one guest. My view is that guests can decide if the event works for them, and if not, they don’t have to come. In his opinion I should have left the party with him and our kids when it was bedtime. On top of that, during the party I didn’t have time to call him because I wanted to focus on my guests and enjoy the evening. He was very hurt by this too, saying I should have made time. This all turned into a big argument. So: AITA for not changing the setup of a tradition (and for not calling during the party) to accommodate my boyfriend and his kids?

I was shopping around our city’s yard sales yesterday and stopped to look through some clothes. While I was looking a guy walked up and asked the old lady running the sale if she had anything golf related. My ears perked up because I have just recently gotten into golf. The lady said she had her late husband’s clubs but didn’t know what they would be worth so she dragged them out to show the guy. It was obvious the guy knew golf by the way he took a couple practice swings and you could tell by his car and clothing he appeared to be well off. As he looked around the bag the lady was telling him that her husband had just passed and that she didn’t know if the clubs were worth anything. He said they weren’t that great and offered $200 for everything. She seemed hesitant and said she didn’t know and he just kind of talked over her and said “here I’ll go grab the money” and walked towards his car. I walked over to see what was in the bag and for anyone who knows golf I’ll throw this out there. Almost new GT3 driver and 3 wood Gently used mizuno Irons Nice titlest wedges A very nice looking Scotty putter Great condition titelist cart bag This stuff combined would be a steal at 1k. Obviously this ladies late husband had spent a good penny on the clubs and I felt bad for her so I told her she should pass on that guys offer and have someone at a local course’s pro shop help her price the stuff out to sell if she wanted. She seemed totally shocked when I told her the driver and 3 wood were probably worth 800 alone. When the guy came back he was glaring at me and when he tried to hand the lady the cash she said no thanks and that she was going to get the stuff appraised. He got upset and told her she can’t back out of a deal so I chimed in that they didn’t really make a deal. He got pissed at me and told me I needed mind my business. The lady then told him she wasn’t interested again and to please leave. He walked to the e d of the driveway and just stood there angry like my toddler would. Before he walked away he called me an asshole and stomped off. The whole thing was more funny than anything to me. I was telling this story to my coworkers today and they were all dogging on me saying I should have kept my mouth shut and let the guy get the good deal but it felt wrong letting him rip her off. So am I the asshole here?

update: I am still going to give them the ipads and for the first few weeks they will stay at my place and then I will let them take them home but I will be monitoring them They deserve to have nice things at home even if mom is a dick. I am also going to inform her in text that this is a loan and I am going to make it very clear that if she does sell them I will file a report with the police and persue it. I can literally see where the iPad are online. ( I don’t like it but she needs to stop doing this shit and it if have to presue it then I will). I edit: she is locked out of everything. The cloud is in my name, with my own passcodes, that’s locked. I had the people help me do this so no one else can get it. unless she gets hacking skills to rival apple engineera she will not be able to wipe them alos I dont find it fair that the kid can’t have nice stuff because of her. I only see them usually ones every two weeks. They should be able to use their nice stuff at home or take it to a friends house ——-//——- My son works on carbo ships, he is hard to contact and is gone for weeks to months at a time. He will not be around for the holidays. He is married to Daisy. Life has been rough for the couple the past two years. Daisy became unemployed and hasn’t found work that is flexible enough with the kids. My son is gone often so he can’t help with the kids. A common issue that has been happening is that Daisy will sell the kids things online for extra cash. I really don’t approve especially since she still is getting her nails done every two weeks still. The kids get into trouble and so she sells there things. My granddaughter only had her new switch video game for two weeks before it was sold. Daisy claimed she was playing too aggressively with the game but when I asked she could not give me examples. So the 70 dollar switch game got sold on Ebay. This also only ever happens with ”expensive“ gifts. I have talked to her about it bit she denies it. Daisy asked me to buy the two kids iPads for Christmas. They are expensive and I am worried she is going to sell them. So I have set them up already and made it so she needs a pasword to get into the setting app. That way she can not wipe them and sell them. I called her up today and informed her I got the kids ipad and explained that I put a password on the setting app. In short she was pissed but I made it clear this is the only way I am gifting them the iPads. I have been getting texts constantly about me over stepping Was this a dick move? Should I get rid of the passcode?

My youngest daughter (19f) lives at home. I (51f) was having a hot flash and I knew my daughter was filming me. My tank top stayed on, so nothing inappropriate was filmed. Later in the day, my daughter asked me if she can post the video on TikTok. She talked about how a lot of people will get something out of watching it. I told my daughter no and I stood firm during her begging. She told her father (53m), who is my husband, and he asked me to reconsider. He told the video is hot (pun intended) and not embarrassing at all. I told him no. My daughter confronted me when her father said he couldn't change my mind. My daughter told me I was being mean to her. Am I the asshole ?

My daughter and I live about an hour outside NYC. Since she was a baby, I’ve taken her there most weekends. As she got older, she occasionally brought friends. They always know the rules: bring a bag with things for the train, carry your own stuff, stick together, expect lots of walking, and have fun. Phones are fine, but I encourage screen-free activities. I always speak to parents beforehand and emphasize the walking, we sometimes walk 45 minutes or more. For her 12th birthday last weekend, she wanted to go to the city with friends, visit favorite spots, have dinner, and maybe see a show. My mom helped pay for tickets and joined us. My daughter invited three girls: two longtime friends who know the routine and a new friend, “Leah.” I called Leah’s mom, explained the rules, warned about the walking, and suggested Leah bring something for the train since the signal is bad. Leah’s mom said she was excited. My daughter also explained expectations. On the train, Leah brought only her phone, got bored when the signal cut out, refused to chat or play games with the others, and complained. When we arrived, she immediately asked for a cab. My daughter reminded her we walk. As we browsed shops, Leah kept whining and asking for a cab. I stayed patient, offered water and snack breaks, and even suggested the subway to be nice, but she refused when she learned what it was. A few hours in, we stopped for dinner at a place with options for everyone. Leah complained again and said she wanted to go home. I pulled her aside to check if she was sick or upset; she just said it was boring. I told her we’d be there a few more hours for the show, but if she wanted to leave, she could call her mom. Leah called, and her mom asked me to bring her back. Even if my mom or I left with Leah and took a train back after we dropped her off, we’d miss the show, and my daughter wanted both of us there. I explained we wouldn’t head back until after the show. Leah’s mom didn’t want to pay for a train ticket or drive. She eventually sent Leah’s dad, who picked her up before the show. Leah stayed crabby through dinner. Afterward, Leah’s mom trashed me to the other moms, but they backed me up, saying they wouldn’t expect me to cut the trip short unless a child was sick or hurt (which I would do). Now Leah’s mom won’t let her hang out with my daughter. I can’t help wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and taken her home. AITA?

I am 28F abd my husband is 32M and our son in question is 6 months old. When ever someone hold them we warn them, he'lll try grab you glasses or your phone, sometimes even grabs your hair. ( we are trying to break this habit but he is 6 months) Now I warned my husband firend 33 F let's call her Jean, came to vist and want a hold which we done mind at all. I warned her about it all saying "ohh best taking you sunglasses off your head he'll grab them. " Now these are Gucci sunglasses costing almost 800 pounds ( which to me is crazy amount for sunglass but each ti ther own.) , she rolled her eyes at me accessed me of hogging my own baby 🤷‍♀️. I warned her again she said its fine. So she stood holding him. Took her phone out wanting to take a selfy, which again i am fine with as long as its not posted ( dont want pic of him online as of yet.) He of course grabbed her sunglasses got excited as he got them waved his hands about the sunglassses went flying she screamed scarying him he paniced and flailed hiting her iPhone to the floor. I quickly took him as she was freaking out. She says I need to buy her a whole new iphone16 and replace her sunglasses or give her the money for them which is £2300. I said "we cant pay that as thats not even my monthly wage. Plus i am on maternity but also I dont feel like I should as you ignored my warnings". So called me heartless for not been more understanding of her being upset. I was more concerned with calming down my son. My husband just shrugged, telling her I did warn her. So AITA

I met my wife in college and she was soon pregnant after we graduated. We moved in together and it was decided that she will not look for a job until she after she gave birth. Our daughter was born and my wife was a SAHM for the first two years. We had a lot of fight about the chore splitting. I was very overwhelmed coming home and having to do a ton of chores after work and also spend time with our daughter . This has gotten worse as our daughter has gotten older and  is a little tornado  The biggest issue was she wouldn’t pick up at all especially in the kitchen. That ment I would come home clean the kitchen, cook and then clean the kitchen again. The have to go around and clean up the days activities. We argued about this a lot and her stance was she watches our kid all day long so I can clean up more when I get home. In the end I gave in and we made an official chore chart.  Her- watch kid, do laundry and grocery shopping, appointments Me- dinner, everyday cleaning ( whipping down counter, picking up toys, sweeping, etc) , trash, meal prep and nighttime routine ( bath etc)   In the summer, my company informed me that I would be let go around Thanksgiving. We talked in over and my wife found a  job  and would be the main breadwinner for the time being. I was to watch our daughter and I am in an online master program.  At the moment I am watching our daughter and doing my master program. I personally have now been having any issues but my wife is.  She hates having to come home and do chores and clean up after us. I actually leave it cleaner than what she has left me. ( I put dishes in the dishwasher throughout the day) We have been arguing about this constantly. She thinks it is unfair she has to do chores after working all day and me pointing out this this literally what I have done for the past two years and keep pointing at the chore chart She says she is the breadwinner now and I shouldn’t have to do this and I pointed out I was the breadwinner before to begin with and did this all. That I am watching our daughter and doing a program. She claims I am being unfair, since I refuse to change the chore chart becuase it is literally what I have done for two years. My friend have opinions on this so I need a outsider opinion

I (23m) rent a house with four of my buddies from college. We have done this for two years. It helps that not only are we great friends, but we have a system of deciding house rules: a majority vote. Disagreements on cleaning? Majority vote. When to make quiet hours for the night on weeknights? Majority rules. It has kept everything flowing smoothly. Anyway one of my friends moved out last month to get a place with his girlfriend. He found a friend of a friend to take over his room. The guy was nice enough but then he came to us with a “declaration.” Apparently he was uncomfortable that we’re not always completely dressed in the house. No one is a nudist, but some of will sometimes not wear a shirt or just be in pajamas or boxers or underwear when lounging around the house. I admittedly am one of the two of us that does it the most, as I usually just lounge around in boxers or other underwear. We all met each other through a sport so we’re comfortable seeing each other like that. Anyway I guess the new guy was caught off guard because he asked if we could constitute a clothing on rule in the house. As usual we did a vote and the rest of us thought it was unnecessary. So there was no rule, but I did start wearing clothes more though there were some times I didn’t bother (when I just woke up, after showering, when I was just coming out to my room for something, etc.). Just to be considerate. Apparently not enough. I noticed that even though we always all gave notice before people coming over he stopped doing so. I found myself a few times just in my underwear when he rolls in with a crew. Got a couple of weird looks, but I just excuse myself and get dressed. I told him once if he gave me a heads up I’d be dressed before they got there, but he just rolled his eyes. One of my other housemates has also run into this issue. Anyway the other day he came to me and my other housemate and asked if his plan to shame us for never wearing clothes worked. We looked at him weird and he said that he was purposely trying to embarrass us by having people see us. We said we’re not embarrassed (we work out for a reason) and weren’t going to change his habit. He stormed off and started smack talking us to the other roommates. AITA?

Hi guys, im using a throwaway for this one. So basically I (17f) am having my 18th at my house. It’s jsut a dinner with my closest friends. I told everyone they may bring food if they like but im going to doing little cooking like some bbq food and then ordering pizza. My guy friend (“Ryan”) asked if he can bring a mutual friend we have (“Emily”)since they’re dating now. I told him yea sure because he was gonna leave early anyway. She offered to make food and I told her that would be really nice but she didn’t have to. She insisted. I made a group chat of people coming and I invited Emily to it. I sent a message talking about when to come, to wear whatever. An important thing in the message was about allergies. I have a friend coming with a really serious nut allergy. I’ve never seen them have a reaction but I’ve been told it gets pretty bad. I wrote in the message to triple check your food doesn’t have nuts and to be aware of cross contaminating. Everyone read the message, some replied. Emily did a thumbs up on the message. Last night me and Emily were talking and she mentioned the food she made. I told her to show me a picture and it was a cake. The cake looked like something my mum had made before and it contained nuts. I asked if it had nuts and she said yes but not a lot and my friend could jsut not eat the cake. I told her I’d rather she just didn’t bring it. She then got mad and said she’d gone through the trouble of making the cake so she’s bringing it or she isn’t coming. I told her then she’s not coming because I was clear about my friends allergy and even cross contaminating was asked to be checked, so why would I allow her to bring a whole cake? She said it was disrespectful to disinvite her and that she’s Ryan’s gf, if he’s going she’s going. I told her no, it’s my party and I didn’t want her there anymore because she was acting like a child. She stopped texting me but then I got a call from Ryan saying i was being a massive dick and she spent ages on the cake. I said I don’t care if it took her two whole weeks to make the goddamn cake, i was specific from the beginning on what u could bring and couldn’t. The only thing you couldn’t bring was something with nuts. The parts where im talking to these two is where I may be TA. I asked if she’s incompetent of reading and comprehension and if she really doesn’t know any other cake recipe. He said i was being a bitch and hung up on me. Ryan is telling everyone him and Emily are not attending because I called them names and rejected Emily’s cake. A lot of friends, mostly ones not coming to the party, are saying it was slack to let her make something and then uninvite her because of what she made and she put effort in that cake for MY birthday. There’s only three people saying im not an AH and one of them is my friend with the nut allergy. My party is tomorrow and I kinda want persepctive on this before then. AITA? edit: the cake is something like a spongey cake but it’s not an actual birthday cake with frosting. I really don’t know how to explain it but it’s seen as more a “treat” cake where I live if that makes any sense at all.