Ok so last week, my kids have a half day on Wednesday. My husband works in the afternoon to the evening., so he was home when my son got home. My husband had already eaten and hadn't washed the dishes he used to eat, and when he told our son to wash his dishes, son asked why he couldnt wash them since "it was him who left them there." My husband asked him again and he said no. In our house, the kids wash the dishes. Doesn't matter who ate what. Especially if its they're father who used the dishes. My husband said ok and washed his dishes and cancelled his phone plan. When my son asked why, he told him that since he didn't want to wash his dishes, why would he pay for a phone plan for a phone that doesn't belong to him. My son complained to me saying it was unfair, and i told had he just washed the dishes like expected of him, he would have full access to his phone. Now he's giving both of us the cold shoulder. AITA?

My wife and I have a 2 year old daughter, who can be a bit much sometimes. She has been a SAHM (her choice) since our daughter was born, while I have worked full time and paid the bills. A few months ago our daughter turned 2 and started daycare, MWF 8-12. It was a nice break for my wife, who had been pretty stressed out. But then her at home days became that much harder, so two weeks ago we started daily daycare, still 8-12. One of my "hobbies" is going to the gym. I do it for health and fitness obviously, but it is also to get away a bit, since I could find a way to workout at home if I really wanted to. I almost always wait until naptime to go on the weekends, but this past Saturday I let my wife sleep in until 9, while I got up at 7:30 with our daughter. I didn't sleep very well, so I asked my wife if she would mind if I went to the gym right away before I lost steam. She got very defensive and quiet, and then started to tear up up a bit and said that she would resent that. I was a little shocked, and instinctively said I would wait until naptime like usual. But that led to a whole conversation about how I don't spend enough time with our daughter and how much my wife has been struggling recently (our daughter was home TF due to a temp, but I believe she was implying for the past couple of years) and why that led her to say she would resent me for leaving for a couple of hours. I thought it was a totally fair request, since I woke up early and we would just be "taking turns". I feel like I spend a good amount of time with our daughter and play/parent her every night and weekend. I very rarely ask to go anywhere when she is awake and I am not at work. Was I TA here, or did my wife have a knee-jerk reaction to a reasonable request?

So, here’s what happened. We’re about to get on a plane and I asked my son to please wear normal shoes instead of his usual flip flops. He started arguing like it was the end of the world, saying it doesn’t matter what he wears and that I’m overreacting. I got kinda mad and ended up scolding him, maybe more than I should have. Now I’m sitting here thinking… did I overreact or was it just a normal thing to ask? I mean, it’s not like I was asking him to wear a tuxedo or something, just shoes so it’s safe and a bit more comfortable on the plane. I just don’t know if I’m being too harsh or if he’s being unreasonable.

I 25F started my job in a new team last December a month after my colleague, who I will call Molly for the sake of this story (who is also a higher level than me). Last year I had a lot of health complications as a result I missed some of my induction so I was given an extended induction following a few months off work this year. On return I was given a different style of induction and was shadowing by different staff who are considered “advanced”, whereas I am considering “senior”. Over the past 2 months I have found it particularly difficult to work with Molly (30ishF) who questioned me on almost everything I did. I tried to accept it as much as possible and be open with my understandings of things but it became very overwhelming. Molly and I come from different backgrounds with different skills and she often didn’t understand my skills but expected me to know hers. During this period of time I was assigned to be supervised by another colleague who has been in the team for 10 years, who we will call Lauren. Lauren and I both come from a similar background- meaning we had a lot of the same skills. Lauren had told me she was happy for me to work independently and she went on a weeks holiday. In that time Molly then began supervising me again and advised me that I didn’t have enough knowledge and confidence to go out on my own to do this job. I then became emotional and went to the bathroom to cry. I then came back and expressed to my manager that this situation had hurt me. Not long after that Lauren asked me if anything was happening between me and Molly as she sensed an issue which she had spoken about to our other manager. I then subsequently had another meeting with other manager and discussed how to resolve this issue. It had been agreed that either manager 2 or Lauren would be there. Then just over 2 weeks ago, Molly came into work in a bad mood for personal reasons. She missed some instructions and snapped at me asking why I was doing something. I then had a meeting with her and another colleague but was trying to avoid crying again so I was avoiding eye contact. I then cried in the bathroom and returned to my desk. Another colleague came up and asked me if I was okay and said she should not of spoken to me like that. Due to feeling like I wasn’t in the right head space and not wanting to have the conversation without manager 2 or Lauren present. I declined to engage with that colleague that day. (At this point I was unaware that Molly had 2 weeks off following this). Today, Molly, myself and manager 2 had a meeting. I assumed it would be to resolve the conversation had prior. Molly was very upset and gave a long explanation about how she had not been able to enjoy her annual leave and told me that it wasn’t personal how she spoke to me and I shouldn’t of take it personally as she was like that with everyone. AITA for not talking to Molly pre her time off?

I (19M) been with my girlfriend (19F) for a little over a year. This isn’t about jealousy or trying to control what she wears, but I’m looking for outside perspectives. Sometimes she goes out without a bra, and occasionally her nipples are visible through her shirt in public. I noticed it makes me uncomfortable, so I brought it up calmly and told her how it makes me feel. She got annoyed and said she doesn’t want to wear a bra because it’s uncomfortable, which I understand. I want to be clear: I’m not trying to tell her what to wear or shame her body. I know it’s her choice. At the same time, I can’t ignore that it genuinely bothers me, and I’m not sure if that’s something I need to work through on my own or if it’s a reasonable thing to bring up in a relationship. So I guess my question is: Am I overthinking this and projecting my own insecurity, or is it okay to feel uncomfortable about this even if I don’t expect her to change? Looking for honest opinions, not just “break up” or “you’re controlling” takes. EDIT: I genuinely am just curious if I’m overthinking and I am. I was in a toxic relationship and went through life experiences that happened and changed me way before I started to talk and date her. I haven’t been in a serious relationship after the toxic one and I understand that I need to get over it and understand her intentions and personality are absolutely nothing alike or similar. Thank you Reddit! Does anyone have self care suggestions that you think would help with overthinking and insecurity?

I (21F) live with my boyfriend (23M), his friend (21M), and the friend’s girlfriend (21F). All four of us live together, and most of our money comes from plasma donations. I have a hard time donating because I often fail the blood pressure check. I’ve learned over time that I can only pass reliably between 8–10 AM. After that, my blood pressure is usually too high. Around noon one day, my boyfriend came to me saying his friend wanted to take us to donate plasma. I already felt my blood pressure was high, and I knew I wouldn’t pass. On top of that, the friend’s car overheats constantly, and I didn’t want to end up stranded and irritated. I told my boyfriend I probably wouldn’t go. He told me to tell his friend myself, so I did. I told the friend I wasn’t going with them because I felt like I wouldn’t pass and didn’t want to get stranded. His friend got irritated and said, “Well we’ve paid all the bills and haven’t received a dime from you guys.” For context, before we moved in, I told them clearly that me and my boyfriend wouldn’t have the funds for the first month because of how inconsistent plasma donations can be, and they said that was fine. Now we’ve only been here two weeks and he’s already acting like we owe him everything. His friend then said, “We have to get dog food,” implying I should risk my health so his dogs can eat. I told him, “I’m not putting my mental health on the line to feed your dogs when I can barely feed myself. I know my body, and I know I won’t pass. Oh well. Sorry not sorry.” After that, my boyfriend said I was being rude and “selfish.” His friend’s girlfriend chimed in saying “sorry not sorry” is basically saying “sorry, fuck you.” I clarified that if I wanted to say that, I would’ve said it. I wasn’t trying to be rude I was being honest and protecting my health. It's not that I didn’t want to go, it's that I didn't want to go and fail the donation, get stranded, and waste my time. Then be in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. Especially because I know I could've taken that frustration out on the household and possibly my relationship. Later, my boyfriend told me that the fact I didn’t even “try” to donate meant he wasn’t sure I’d try to make our relationship better in the future. He also said that by speaking as an individual “I” instead of as a couple “we”, I caused a “hole in the boat” of our relationship. He basically made my decision about my own health into evidence that I’m not committed enough to him. Now I’m questioning everything. I feel like I’m being pressured to harm myself or do things I know will make me mentally unstable just so other people can benefit from it. And I feel like my boyfriend takes other people’s side over mine, especially in front of others. By saying this I'm not saying he has to agree with me on everything I just feel like he should defend my honor in public and correct me in private.

I (34F) am a specislist ER doctor in Canada. I recently married my husband in India and sorted out the formalities for him to join me in Canada. He is the newphew of one of my dad's friends there. He said that he worked in IT support when I met him but this is only partially true. He works for a company that other companies subcontract support work to officially but also carries out other operations unofficially like troll farms and scam calls. He used to work in the unofficial back office in India. I assumed he would find a new job here or even be a house husband (I wouldn't mind that) but he made arrangements with thr conpany to continue his work remotely by remotely connecting to their computers there. He gets paid in India in a bank account there and does not plan on declaring this to the tax authorities (CRA) here. I asked him to quit this job as I am scared it can get us into a lot of trouble both tax and ruin our reputation. He still pretends to work in IT when people ask and his linkedin makes it seem like he is in the official part of the company. He initially agreed but after just 2 weeks of trying to get a job gave up and says he will continue working in India. He says it is not fair for me to ask that and he feels like he needs to have an income as well and that when we have a child I will need the income (even though I will get maternity leave and have savings and will be paid). At the same time he also feels like I make too much money and it will look bad if I support him completely. He has become quite upset with me and now I'm wondering if it was out of line to ask that. I asked my parents for their opinion and they think I am being unfair and that the cra will not know and I should be happy we have extra tax free income, and it might be needed if our kids go to school in the US someday.

So I (22m) have been a runner for about 8 years. I like running shorts and had been looking for casual shorts that length for years. However, the issue is even when I got 5 inch inseams since I am a pretty short dude they didn’t end up looking as short as I wanted (I know that they now make easier to find 3 inch shorts, but this was a few years ago). Anyway I discovered that if I got boxers a size too big (large instead of medium), they just looked like shorts rhe length I wanted. I started wearing them like other people would wear gym shorts (hanging with friends, going to class, the gym, etc). And genuinely no one has ever noticed. Before anyone asks how: 1. I’m talking baggy boxers, not boxer briefs. The ones that are essentially shorts except for the fly, which I see shut. 2. I wear regular underwear underneath (think v-shaped briefs). Nothing is visible that shouldn’t be. 3. I’m aware boxers are typically underwear. I just have never worn them as such. 4. They are just comfortable. I know I could get other shorts but I like these. I like how they feel and I like all the fun designs you can get. Anyway I’ve done this for years. No issues. Last weekend, my brother (23m) invited some of his old college friends to my family’s cabin and invited me along. They’re mostly his friends but I’ve gotten to know them fairly well. Anyway we were doing a drinking game and a girl got dared to do snow angels outside. When she came in she asked me if she could borrow some dry clothes, since I was closest to her size. I agreed and gave her a sweatshirt and some boxers I use as shorts. I don’t even think of them as underwear anymore so it didn’t cross my mind not to do this. When she got them she saw the label on the inside and asked why I gave her boxers. I explained to her and the rest of the group everything above. They all looked at me like icwas out of my mind and asked if I’d been hanging out with them in underwear for years. I said technically but explained the distinction. Things got awkward but we moved on. Anyway the next morning I woke up to a DM from the girl’s boyfriend (not on the trip) who said to stop being a creep and put pants on, that I made his gf uncomfortable. I don’t see the big deal, because if no one had looked at the label no one would have ever know. AITA if I keep wearing rhe boxers?

I 21f have a friend 20m, we’re good friends in the same group and talk a lot. The other day he had a conversation with me, apparently he’s asked other people he speaks to a lot as well. That with him to stop all conversations involving relationships or sex, especially in groups but also 1-1. He apparently just can’t take it as someone who hasn’t experienced either and it’s a massive deal to him and his mental health as he said. I then told him that’s ridiculous and that neurotic attitude is what’s causing him this problem in the first place probably. (This sounds mean but to me it was just tough love) but I also did say to him this surprised me because I didn’t think he took it that seriously. We all know he’s a virgin and there’s a joke here and there but it’s like not that serious and I never knew it was. And he doesn’t present like the type of person to be this worked up over it. He told me I don’t and can’t understand, so respectfully not to patronise him or belittle him for asking and just either respect it or don’t up to me. I told him I just don’t understand why it’s so massive to him or even why he struggles to much. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked this because it sent him on a bit of a rant which that is not the part I mean when I say I shouldn’t have asked I mean just how he got a bit worked up talking about it. About how he tries and tries to be “normal” doing everything he’s told and it doesn’t matter. How he’s been in therapy for years, multiple therapists, diagnosed and began medication for his adhd, makes all the right lifestyle choices with eating and exercise and even though he has anxiety that does not get better no matter what he does he puts himself out there all time and is always just left feeling like nothing matters and it’s no point. Then I say basically having it dictate your life isn’t normal and he needs to stop and just realise he’s taking it too seriously. He then asked why do I NEED to be like this, why can’t I just be respectful of something he’s asking for me. Why did I ask him about it just to dismiss it and his experiences etc. also thrown in again me saying that means I don’t understand. We kinda left things there, idk if he’s still mad. I thought I was helping because that’s crazy behaviour and he should be told that. I don’t think he was hoping for some kind of ill pity him and do something with him thing he’s not like that and he didn’t seem like that when talking about it. All his feelings seemed genuine.

I've been with my girlfriend for 5 and a half years. Her family get together at a bar 2-3 times a year to catch up so I know them well. She has a cousin she's close to who has just turned 17 this month. This year she's invited her cousin out with us for food, to the cinema and a couple of days out. I don't mind since I get on well with her and we have similar tastes in movies, books and video games etc and I have grown up with a younger brother and sister so it reminds me of the time I used ot spend with them and the times I used to take them to the cinema etc. We had a family get together last weekend and I spent part of it talking to my gfs cousin about upcoming movies and games. I was also talking to other members of the family thouought the night so it's not like I only talked to the cousin. When we got home my gf said she needed to ask me something. She asked if I was attracte to her cousin. I asked if she was serious. I pointed out her cousin is a child that I've known since she was 12. I asked if she really thinks that low of me. She said it’s not as if her cousin is a young child but I just said it hurts that she thinks so little of me. She pointed out the time I'd spent talking to her at the get together but I just said again she wasn't the only person I was talking to and that yyeah I'm going to talk more to people I know better and know I have things in common with. I just said it's disgusting she thinks that of me and that I expect an apology. She said she was just making sure and that we seemed close but I jsut said again I'm waiting for an apology. She said she wasn't going to apologise for being cautious and just making sure but I just said she should know me better than that and shouldn’t imply what she implying. AITAH for expecting an apology?

One of my closest friends, Jeff, has been fundraising to run the NYC marathon. To start, I am not comfortable with giving money straight up to friends. I show my friendship in other ways (housing friends, flying across the world, moving homes, etc.) but giving money is not one of them. I am neither well to do nor poor. Still, this has always been a value of mine. Jeff asked me on about 10 separate occasions to donate to his cause. At first, I didn't respond because I was on the fence. Later on Jeff started getting aggressive, saying things like "you're a fake friend for not donating", and "donate you p\*ssy". This is his way of talking in general, so I didn't take it too seriously, but it made the whole topic extremely uncomfortable for me. Today, it reached a boiling point where Jeff went off on me on the phone and demanded an apology for not donating and more-so not being upfront and saying no earlier. From my POV, he made it a hostile environment and I was not comfortable talking directly with him, from his POV, I should have just said "no" and he wouldn't have badgered me. AITA for not donating? AITA for not responding? \*\*edit, since it seems a bit unclear. I'd give money to a cause I care about, and have. I would not send money to a friend for a recreational activity. This happens to be both charity and recreation. \*\*edit2, This race in particular requires entrants to raise a certain amount for a charity of choice, or else they're ineligible to run.

I (28M) love to whistle, and I'm good at it. Former band kid who loves music, I've had a habit for a decade or more of whistling along to music, while I'm milling about the house, on walks, etc. My boyfriend (26M) hates it, like a lot. He says hearing me whistle is like "nails on a chalkboard" and says I lack self awareness when I whistle cause people around me hate it. I think there is truth to that - although I'm not exactly whistling in libraries and movie theaters - but I also think he is very extreme about it. I have made a conscious effort to whistle less and avoid doing it around him, but every once in a while a song will come on or whatever and I'll find myself whistling. I tell him it's not intentional (I don't actively choose to piss him off by whistling), and whenever he calls me out on it I stop. I try to explain that it's a habit I've had for years, and I can't just stop all of a sudden, at least not easily. We recently had a big fight about it. We were driving and he queued a song I like and before you know it, I'm whistling and he's angrily telling me to stop, which I do right away. He says I'm being disrespectful for whistling when I know he hates it, but I don't do it maliciously rather subconsciously. Am I the asshole for whistling? I care more about his happiness than I do whistling, but it's a form of loss to me to give up something that's brought me so much joy for years.

Hey everyone. So, I (F,19) have known this guy (M,19) since 7th grade but we got really close in the last year. We worked together during our gap year between high school and university as volunteer workers. And it was great, we were able to talk to each other about everything and I got so comfortable around him, which is rare for me. There was never anything romantic, I genuinely can’t look at him that way and I’m also in a loving relationship right now. It was during this gap year where he also met his current girlfriend, let’s call her Elsie. They became a couple about seven months ago and were so cute. I think she truly brings out the best in him. This all isn’t a problem, obviously- the problems started around two months ago. he stopped responding to texts, taking around 24h to answer every time. Many of our other friends complained about this to me, but while it is annoying, I can’t really blame him for not always being on his phone. But in addition to this, it’s been impossible to see him. Every time we plan something, they both go together. A few weeks ago I planned a meetup with just me, him and a good friend of ours. Around a day before, he asks if he can bring his gf, and while I’m a little disappointed, I obviously have no problem with it. But it’s this every time. Going partying? Three of us. Drinking coffee? Three of us. And if it’s a larger group you won’t see him at all because he and Elsie always sneak off and are nowhere to be found. I truly respected this relationship. Them being so close rn is because we all now live in the same city for university and he finally has the chance to see her everyday, which he couldn’t before that and I can really understand why he would be with her a lot because of this. Now to the actual conflict: about two days ago I asked him if he would be with his gf the next few weeks. He said yes and asked me why, so I replied that it had been a while since we got together 1on1. He asked if I had anything to say that Elsie couldn’t hear and I said no, I just wanted to talk with him. He said that we could all do something together and I replied that yes, I’m very open to that but I also missed talking to him like we did in the past year and that I wasn’t comfortable to talk about my problems around Elsie. (Also I added “but if you’d rather do something with me and her together, that’s totally fine”.) He got really mad, since Elsie picked me up from a doctors appointment a week ago and apparently this should make us close enough to talk about deep stuff, at least according to him. I explained to him that I really like her a lot but I don’t want to talk about this stuff to people I don’t know enough since I feel like I’d burden them with my feelings. And I said I wanted to talk to my best friend. Which is genuinely the only think I want. I miss him and talking to him, since I have not found any friends this semester. He finally agreed to meet but now I feel bad for what I said. AITA?

I (19M) am currently experiencing a dilemma in my head, on one hand i feel horrible for not wanting to donate but at the same time i just really dont want to. Before you come for me let me give more context. My family is big, i have a lot of aunts uncles and cousins. But for some reason out of everyone it landed on my parents hands (because my mom (50) refuses to not help, shes a saint) and she cant donate blood due to her high blood pressure, my dad for some reason keeps saying that I will donate blood He kept saying it like I agreed to it or theres no room for arguement, in my head I just wanted to say why wont you donate blood? My father (49) Is a very healthy and active person, he's a gym trainer and hhis blood pressure is normal, so why doesnt he volunteer and speaks like im willing? I DONT WANT TO, maybe from fear or something else, but I just really dont want to. We even got into a tiny arguement, he just jept asking why i didnt want to, and I just kept saying i dont need a reason to not want to. He got mad and I just wanted to scream at him, why dont you want to? But I didnt and spoke calmy, he left the house to go to work and I feel my parents judging me for my decision, I know they will guilt trip me (typical asian parents) but I really dont want to, theres so many other family members near us. why has it fallen unto me? I feel bad and ashamed but I just dont feel comfortable with doing it...especially for a family member i barely see or know at all.... So reddit, AITA? I would appreciate early replies and thank you for reading my post.... P.S.: my grunkle needs blood from the hospital. and the exhange isfor someone in the family to dotae blood so they could give him the blood type he needs Edit: A lot of you are confused if i was matching with my great/grand uncle or whatever. You can donate blood to the hospital's blood bank in exchange for the blood that is his match. I already know its selfish of me to refuse, but why won't my dad or my other family members step up and make ME feel bad about it...It just feels like I'm the one they're going to blame because they will have to buy the blood from the blood bank, which costs around 100$. I know its saving then the headache of paying a lot of money but I just don't feel comfortable with it. His situation (grunkle) isnt life threatening but just went through surgery I appreciate you all for being honest because I'm in dire need of multiple opinions besides my friends just going its not wrong to refuse...i want to hear more from different perspectives.

My girlfriend and I are both in college. My older sister currently owns a 1 year old mutt (looks similar to an Australian Cattle Dog) named Coda, who she doesn't treat very well. As far as I'm aware she's not physically abusive, but she's certainly neglectful and irresponsible. She's trying to rehome him, and I offered to adopt. I've been struggling with mental health recently and I've always been great with dogs, plus I would have everything I need to take care of him (family already offered to pay for food and medical, my schedule allows for me to give him full attention). Dogs are allowed at our college and I truly think both Coda and I could benefit greatly from this situation. The only thing is my girlfriend is deathly afraid of large dogs. She was attacked a few years ago, and since then only trusts dogs under specific circumstances. She has decided already that she is not willing to attempt to establish trust with Coda, and is telling me that if I adopt him she will probably leave. We have had more than a few rough patches, but we're been together since highschool and she is a major support system in my life. Am I wrong for feeling like she's being unreasonable, or am I being selfish by going through with something I know will make her unhappy?

Am I the asshole for wanting my husband to put a stop to the relationship my in-laws have with his ex girlfriend? I f(28) got married to my husband (28) earlier this year. I know this sounds insecure but it truly bothers me. Currently my ex mother-in-law has a picture of his ex-girlfriend posted to her Instagram as recent as last year, wishing her a happy birthday (they broke up four years ago and he dated somebody else after her). I didn’t let that bother me because she posted that before I met my husband however, the ex-girlfriend will go out of her way to interact with my in-laws. They could post a picture of themselves on Instagram or Facebook and she’ll be in the comment section saying how much she loves them and misses them. They don’t always reply to her, but it still bothers me that she has access to them. I don’t know if she texts them on the side or has phone call conversations but from what I’ve seen it’s pretty irritating. I think It’s also worth mentioning that he currently has another boyfriend and that they broke up because she hurt him multiple times (cheating). My husband gets upset when I bring up how uncomfortable it makes me feels, and says that I’m the one who keeps bringing it up.

Yes this subject doesn’t make sense so let me explain. I’m going go try and make this as simple as I possibly can. My daughter 3rd birthday is this weekend and I am taking her and a few of her friends (15) to dance at a studio . I’m allowed 15 kids and parents. To attend but the space is limited and small so I don’t have room for everyone who I would want to come like her great grandparents and so on. I jus invited people who have kids. Well I invited my friend who has two 6 month old and her son which is 3 as well. I said very clearly to her that I’m Limit space and I can’t have everyone at the parrty can you sneak away for a couple hours and bring your son to my daughter bday? She said she would most likely have to bring her twins because she has no sitter . Totally get that I said fine I get that. My other friends are jus sending one parent to attend with their kid. NOw this is when the issue comes out. So I asked her this week if she will be attending I asked if she had a sitter if she’s coming with the babies. I have to the owner how many people I’m expecting to be at the studio. So she told me yes she’s coming and yes the twins are coming becaue she has no sitter and yes her bf is coming to…… so now I have to pay an extra $50 to have their whole family attend when I jus had asked her to come with her son. I’m honestly so annoyed and bothered. It’s jus a small kids party I’m having pizza but like again I’m not doing anything crazy. It was just suppose to be a fun short party so she can celebrate with her cousins and friends. Do I have the right to be upset?

I (f19) live with my boyfriend (m20). He works full time and pays all the bills. I stay at home and do Intensive Outpatient Therapy. I have been looking for jobs also but have yet to find one that will hire me that is decently close to where i live. One of my main responsibilities is to keep the house clean which means doing all the dishes, laundry, sweeping and mopping the floors, vacuuming etc. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed with this all and have felt depressed. I asked my boyfriend if he would mind doing the dishes at least half of them since he makes 50% of them. I don’t expect him to do them all the time just help every once in a while. Am I being the asshole for asking this of him?

We have not always had the greatest relationship with our neighbor. We do our best to get along because our kids play together. Recently, my son noticed my neighbor filming him and his friend playing outside from her window. Keep in mind, her kid was also inside at that time. I texted and asked if she was filming them, to which she replied "Why?" and acted like I was out of line for even asking that question. It is one thing if she is taking pictures of our kids while they are playing with hers, but it just seemed strange that she was filming without our knowledge and she refuses to send us the video she took. AITA? **Edit**: I shouldn't have said "she refuses to send us the video she took". It was more of an emotional reaction rather than a relevant fact. She never answered the question so she never admitted to taking a video in the first place. I commented to her that she never sends pics/videos she has taken of our kids playing over the years but I never demanded this video so she never actually refused. I apologize for misleading you and promise that it was not intentional. Maybe ITA for putting that in this post. Sorry!

Me and my family are going to travel and my parents are retired so we siblings are the one covering their whole travel (airplane fare, tour, food, and accomodation). Two of my siblings are married and one of them have kids but they all are doing pretty good in life. A stable income with capabilities to buy luxurious items. Also I've only been working for around 2 years while they've been in the workforce for more than a decade, so I have a pretty low income compared to them. My mother heard of the sharing of their expenses for the travel and she lashed out on me for making my 2 in-laws (their wives) have a share on their (dad and mom's) airplane fare. She said that only their children should be the one paying for them. I totally understand where she's coming from but it's a little too heavy for me if the sharing would be divided by the three of us rather than five. The whole trip was suddenly booked 3 months before so I didn't have enough time to save up since christmas is also coming up but my mom pressured me to give all of the family members and extended ones some gift since it would be "shameful" if I didn't, that's why budget's really tight even for the travel. So am I the asshole for asking my in-laws to have a share on our parent's airplane fare?

She literally told me she doesn’t want to celebrate it on Jan 1st at all. My wife’s birthday is January 1st. Tbh it is a bad time for a birthday. Since it is so close to holidays her friend usually don’t get her birthday gifts. Becuase it is the first day of the year no one wants to do anything since they are all hungover form the night before. In short she doesn’t like it being that day We talked this year of celebrating her half birthday as he big event instead of Jan 1st. She is the one that brought up the idea and I agreed to it. So her birthday celebration is going to be June 2. So when Jan 1st came around I didn’t do anything. I wished her happy birthday and that was it. No cake, no present, nothing that like. It thought the day went well but she didn’t. We got into an argument becuase I didn’t do anything for her birthday. I pointed out multiple time that she wanted to celebrate it June 2. She told me that’s not the point and I should have done something. I asked if she didn’t want to celebrate on June 2 nd and she told me she still did. She basically wants to birthdays from me. This has been an ongoing argument and today I told her she is acting more spoiled than our three year old. That our own daughter doesn’t get too birthdays so whey should she She isn’t talking to me, and I need to know if I am acutely in the wrong on this… Should she get two birthdays

My husband (42m) gets overstimulated easily. This isn't a neurological condition. The situation that occurred; I (32f) was parenting our daughter (16f). She was filling out a form but wanted me or my husband to do it for her. So the arguement went from me telling daughter she can do it herself to getting overly irritated that she was behaving like shes helpless. Daughter didnt want to, so ran to dad to ask him to fill out the form. At this point the volume of our discussion got louder, instead of telling daughter to fill the form out herself, I am now demanding she does. (The form was for school, she was in the process of getting a parking permit and needed to provide the details of the car. Color. Make. Model) Anyways, she runs to the kitchen to ask dad, I'm saying "No you can do this on your own". Dad is now overwhelmed with the yelling and asks that we be quiet. Obviously that didn't happen because, we'll, teenagers... This lasted for about 5-8 minutes. Eventually daughter completes the form on her own, I give her a hug and tell her that she is capable and smart. My husband then proceeds to give daughter and I the cold shoulder for 3 days. Finally I am told that he is upset that we didn't listen to him and lower our voices or move to another room. I am trying to figure out if I am justified in my actions. I was in the midst of a teenager tantrum because she had to do something herself that she found too difficult, and I didn't listen to him when he asked me to calm down. At that point, he wasn't my main concern. However, this is a thing he does. He gets irritated with noises. Random excited noises, the way our daughter cries, my voice when I get overly excited and loud, chewing, the dogs unexpectedly barking, computer mouses clicking. He polices noises constantly. Just to add, he doesn't have an issue with noise when he is riding his motorcycle or when he plays shows with his metal band. So my question here is, am I the asshole for not gathering my daughter and I to another room or quieted down for the 5 minutes it took to convince her to grow up and fill out the form on her own. Or was I in the right to speak loudly in my own home around my husband even knowing how he feels about people being disruptive. **update** Thank you everyone. I heard you. I was being stubborn and have since apologized. Those who noticed that I am immature in this area, you are correct and I am working on being better. Which was the reason for my post, I needed to check myself here. To answer questions, my husband is "stepdad" I'm pretty sure I framed the arguement with my daughter incorrectly. I wouldn't attempt to reframe it now in fear that it will be misconstrued more. Suffice to say, the arguement wasn't intense or angry-yelling. Husband and I are in counseling for our communication, thank you to those that cared to suggest this.

Basically my friend is getting married next year. She sent me screenshots of colour scheme, the dress she’s hoping to buy and also the dress she wants me to wear to the wedding as her bridesmaid. Truth is I hate it, it would not look flattering on me at all and the colour isn’t very nice if I’m being completely honest 🤦‍♀️ am I the asshole for asking her to change the style of dress or should I just suck it up and wear it??? Help

AITA for not wanting to confine my cat to one room and snapping at my brother for suggesting it when it’s his home? I (F, 21) have been living with my brother (M, 29) for about 6 months. Three months ago, I adopted a cat. When I got the cat we didn’t know she had FIV. I currently live with my brother rent free under the rules I buy groceries and I clean up after myself. I try to be consistent with the cat hygiene in the house. I scoop it daily sometimes multiple times a day and fully change it weekly I even have one of those liter genies that he bought to help with the smell. I have an air purifier, two air fresheners, 2 types of litter Odor control that’s put into the box itself, and I mop weekly. The issues comes when yesterday my brother brought up out of no where that I need to either keep her confined in my room only or get rid off of her. I fear her health in confining her due to it adding to her stress and illness. However I can’t afford to move on my own at this moment nor do I have any where else to take her. I understand where he’s coming from he fears bringing people over and having them judge him for the cat smell. However at the same time I am doing all I can do to combat this he has never owned an animal himself or been around one for long amounts until now. I told him all this and I admit got emotional and angry and ended up taking time to myself to think this over. He’s firm on his stance and I worry that if I give the cat to a shelter in my area they’ll just put her down immediately give her diagnosis. I have spent a lot on proper food given her illness, vet visits, and furniture like cat trees. Am I the asshole for wanting to refuse this and are there any recommendations or resources for a cat with her sickness?

I (35F) have been married to my husband (38M) for almost two years. Since my company went remote last year, I have been working from home full-time. While I like the flexibility, I have missed the social interaction of being in the office. I have been making an effort to have lunch with my coworkers occasionally, and it has helped me feel like I still have a life outside the house. One of my closest work friends, James, just got promoted and is moving to Europe. He has been with the company for years, and a lot of us are going to miss him. The team is throwing him a farewell party next Thursday, and I told my husband I was planning to go. That is when he reminded me that Thursday is our wedding anniversary. He said he had already made dinner reservations as a surprise. I genuinely felt bad for forgetting but I told him we could still celebrate the next day or over the weekend. He said it is not the same and that it feels like I am putting a coworker ahead him. He did not yell or argue, but instead got quiet and started doing this thing where he mopes around and acts sad without really saying much. I told him anniversaries can be celebrated anytime, and this dinner is a one-time thing. James is leaving the country. I will not have another chance to see him off. My husband, on the other hand, will be here the next day, the day after that, and so on. Now he has been a bit distant all week, like I personally attacked him by not canceling my plans. It feels like I am dealing with a kid who is pouting because his birthday party did not go exactly how he pictured it. I get that anniversaries are special to some people, but I honestly do not think this is that big of a deal. We have only been married two years, and to me, the important milestones are five, ten, and so on, not every single year. I am still willing to celebrate, just not on that exact Thursday.

AITA - I have a habit of falling asleep while relaxing in the evening watching TV. It’s not every evening, but not uncommon either. I’ve always had this effect, and it’s more of a doze off rather than falling deep into sleep. It drives my wife crazy that I don’t simply go to bed immediately. She sometimes lets it slide but sometimes gets really angry and demands that I go to bed. But here’s the issue - I’m often not truly ready for bed for the night, catch a ‘second wind’ and want to stay up for awhile. While I can understand that it may be mildly annoying to have me doze off, I’d prefer it be chalked up to a peccadillo rather than be something that causes an argument. So what do you think - AITA? Update based on comments: I don’t snore. We both work, share house tasks, this is in the late evening after work is done. We’ve been married 18 years, she’s not necessarily dying to hang out with me. It just generally annoys her that I doze off

So me (17 m) stay over at my friends house (18 f) a lot, she has a pool that we go swimming in often. After we go swimming we take a shower because it’s gross to me to sit in chlorine. She takes like 20-30 minutes in the shower which is fine. I take around the same time I have hair that goes halfway down to my waist and is a pain to wash, she has long hair too so I thought she understood. After like 10 times of showering at her house she said “why are you taking so long as a man in the shower” I made a confused look at her and asked her what she ment she began to state “my dad and boyfriend take like 5 minutes in the shower 10 tops, I just think it’s a asshole move to take like 20 to 30 minute showers as a man taking up all my family’s water for nothing” I was speechless and apologized but explained that just like her I have long hair and it takes a while to wash. She scoffed at that and said it’s not the same and all men should not take over 10 minutes in the shower and her boyfriend and dad don’t. I stated how her boyfriend has very short hair and her dad is bald. She got pissed called me an asshole and ignored me for the rest of the night, and I left early in the morning. I have talked to some of my other friends and a lot agree with her and only 2 of my other friends are on my side. So I want to know am I an asshole for taking to long in the shower as a man? EDIT: 1st of all she doesn’t pay the water bill her parents do and I have asked her mom if it’s ok if I take long showers and she said that she doesn’t care and it’s not a problem CAs she takes like hour long showers. 2nd of all I can’t not get my hair wet she tells me I’m a Debbie downer and purposely gets my hair wet when I try not to. 3rd I take longer bc my hair is really water resistant and also is dead so it takes forever to wash out. 4th she won’t let me on any of the furniture or near her if I don’t shower after we swim so not showering after swimming is not answer. That’s all I wanted to clear up. EDIT 2: my hair take like 5 minutes to get the soap in, 10 minutes to wash out, and 5 more to wash my body. My hair doesn’t like to rinse out easily. I usually take 20 minute showers only 30 if I really need to that’s why I said 20-30.

Okay. Hello everyone, first time posting here. Recently I was tasked with putting up my grandfathers old Land Cruiser for sale. Its a 2005 model and was with us for about 15 years, its the earliest car I have memories in from when I was 5-6 with my grandfather takig me down to the candy store. I was told by my parents that that car will be handed down to me when I am older. I am a 19M college student and have my drivers license. During mid-late summer my parents decided they were going to sell the car after they bought for my grandfather a "new" Lexus. I was already bummed from the news and pleaded so that they reverse their decision, no results. I was then tasked with putting the car up for sale and negotiating with potential buyers. I was told I would get 150 OMR lump sum from the sale, but it was left as a "to be determined" value. I recently sold the car and later at night asked my mother if I could have a bigger cut because of the sentimental value the car had. She told me "What work did you do to earn 150? People work in the sun for less than that." Immediately I knew what their game was. I told them that they promised the car to me for many years. Her response was "We promised the car to you when you will be able to maintain it." This made me mad because I remembered a week ago where I told her I can maintain it when I get a job, to which she replied "And thats in a few years, you want us to wait that long?". I am in college right now and still have 3 years left. I told her that this wasnt fair for me and thats why I was asking for a bigger cut. She scolded me for being disrespectful and stopped talking to me. AITA for asking for a bigger cut?

My (24f) boyfriend (24m) and I have been together for 6 years, and living together for about 4 years. My boyfriend has always had a spicy food aversion. I like spicy stuff but I am mindful about it when I’m cooking, or when I’m shopping. There have been times where I’ve added too much pepper to something, or have gotten the wrong type of sausage meat for biscuits and gravy on accident, and it has caused him to not be able to eat the food I make or if he does eat it, it upsets his belly. Today we went to the grocery store and we were buying frozen chicken cutlets to make sandwiches with. He picked up a bag, it was a little expensive and as were were both budgeting that trip since finances are tight, I saw a bag right next to it that said “chicken filet” and it was cheaper so I said “let’s get this one since it’s cheaper” and we put it in the cart and went home. When we were cooking them, I took them out of the oven and moved one with my fingers. I licked my finger really quick and noticed it was a little spicy. I looked at the bag and instantly felt awful seeing it said “spicy chicken filets.” I sheepishly looked at my boyfriend and said “babe..” and showed him the bag. I could tell he was really upset. He said “spicy? Come on babe, really?” And I felt so bad as I genuinely didn’t know they were spicy. I said “I didn’t mean to” and he said “you grabbed the bag” and I know he wasn’t accusing me of doing it purposefully but it felt like it. He got silent and started making his plate and I said “do you want me to go buy you something else so you don’t have to eat that?” And he told me no it’s fine and he would power through it. I kept offering to get him milk, and even offered to drive to get him a different meal. He was denying it all saying he just didn’t want to waste the food and didn’t want to talk. He ate one sandwich and was on the couch not talking to me because his stomach was hurting so bad he was trying not to throw up. I understand why he was upset with me because he didn’t get to enjoy his dinner, but I didn’t like how he talked to me after he found out it was spicy. When I brought it up again later we got in an argument because I said “I really understand why you were upset and moving forward I will really pay attention when I’m buying food for you. Can you please just make sure that in the future when you’re upset with me to be more gentle with how you communicate that?” And he kept saying that he’s been dealing with me getting spicy food on accident for 6 years and I should know to check for it by now, and the only reason he reacted that way was because it keeps happening. Am I the asshole for not checking to see if the chicken was spicy?

So me(19,f) and my boyfriend(20,m) got into a fight (again) because he doesn't seem to understand why I don't want to be alone at home with repairmen I don't know. We are getting doors installed next week and I've asked him to go to work a little later, which btw, is no problem as he's done this for less important reasons before. His argument is that it isn't "all men". I agree with that but I still want to be careful since you can never know which men are part of the problem. And as a young woman who will be alone with at least 2 random men for a few hours I wanted to be especially careful. And no, I don't have anybody else to ask. His other argument was that their employers know theyre here and if anything happens we have their names etc. and that if they'd do something they would put their job and everything on line. I tried to explain that that hasn't stopped many men before and that many people actually do know their attacker (iykwim). Now, we had a similar conflict before when I went to get the keys for our apartment alone. Back then it was also a man I had to meet alone with. I was able to take my sister with me but as I said, now I don't have anyone else to ask. I do get his points but his way of thiking makes me angry so I was wondering if I am in fact he asshole here?

So I am 26 and let’s say the woman I am helping (41) is named Rhonda (fake name). She asked if I could help her out for her wedding basically run around setting everything up, clean after the wedding, get her dressed and present her to her bridesmaids. I told her I would be happy to help Rhonda (keep in mind completely for free). I offered to take Polaroid photos with my vintage Polaroid and told her that it would be a wedding gift from me and she said she would love that. She also has a friend doing digital photography for her that she already had in place. I told her I could only get 40 sheets of film because it came out to 170 dollars and I’m on a strict budget myself. She then said to me “only 40? I have over 130 guests.” I told her “I honestly can’t afford any more film.” (This was two days ago) She moved on but I feel slightly offended by her reaction to an expensive gift that she didn’t ask for. I also asked her if my fiancé could come because I couldn’t remember if she had said yes to that and she answered “you already asked that and I already said yes.” She seems to have this aggravation when it comes to me asking any questions. I’ve known her for about 3 years now and she says we are friends but we quite literally never speak to one another unless she needs a favor from me (house sitting, pet sitting, cleaning her home, wedding). I honestly feel so used at this point but my morals are telling me I made a commitment and have to stick to it. I am so worried about backlash if I were to just tell her never mind and back out since it’s so last minute. I know I would be perceived as the bad guy to everyone else in her life. I work full time in a physically demanding job and I’m helping her out on my two days off. I just feel like there’s zero appreciation when I help her out and instead there is always critique. I don’t know what to do. Would I be the asshole if I told her I do not want to go through with helping her the day before and the day of her wedding 3 days before I’m supposed to help? EDIT: I have decided to go with my gut and follow through with the commitment I made. But I will absolutely never say yes to any favors she asks for in the future. After the wedding I will make clear to her that she shows little to no appreciation for the things I do for her. Yes I did tell her originally it would be 40 photos, I told her originally it would be to take photos of her CEREMONY not for all of her guests as the film is very expensive (excuse any typos or poor grammar I’m heading into work rn) if she treats me poorly at the wedding I will be stepping out.

First of all, I really love celebrating my friends’ birthdays and although I’m more of an introvert, shy and not that talkative (at first), I like meeting new people and talking to people I vibe with. My (23f) best friend is having her 24th birthday party in 3 weeks. She has rented out a club and has invited all her friends and their whole friend groups. So there will be more than 110 people there. (She’s super outgoing and has lots of acquaintances) The thing is, I don’t know and haven’t even met most of the guests, and I don’t get on well with the ones I know from high school (I wasn’t in that friend group, we never talked that much and it always seemed like they didn’t like me either). In other cases I would find someone to talk to, but it would be impossible this time because of the loud music. Also, since everybody will be there with their friend groups, they wouldn’t include me, I suppose. I also don’t like clubbing and dancing, especially with strangers. The only person I know and like is my best friend, but she won’t be next to me all night and I don’t expect her to. It feels so unnecessary for me to be there, just being alone all night. And it wouldn’t make a difference if I wasn’t there because more than 100 people would be going anyway. I don’t want to be a bad friend, I know this should be all about her, not about me, but I feel so anxious and uncomfortable everytime I think about going to her party and I don’t know what to do.

So a bit of backstory.. I(33F) have 4 siblings. 2 of those siblings Don(34M) and Mary(29F) are whom this post regards. Don used to date Mary’s best friend Agnes(29F) for about 8 years on and off. They broke up a little over a year ago, Don moved in with my sister Mary and her husband, Jeff(34M). Because of this my brother couldn’t take any of his dogs with him and has been relying on Agnes’ goodwill to see his dogs. Which there hasn’t been any since Don met his girlfriend Amelia(23F). There have been arguments, angry text messages and Agnes went so far as to say that she would make a false police report against, Don. I must note that Don has been respectful, polite and mindful of the time when he texts, Agnes. She only wanted to file the police report so he wouldn’t be able to see his dogs and he would stop trying. Because of all of this the rest of my family and I have had no contact with Agnes. We are solely in Don’s corner, not only because of recent events, but because of the type of person she is. We never liked her, but we tolerated and accepted her for Don’s sake while they were dating. Now to what brings me here. As some of you can probably guess, Mary is still best friends with Agnes. Mary knows everything Agnes has done to not only Don, but our family as well. Agnes has caused numerous fights in our family and has even gotten in between me and Mary. We have tried to speak to Mary and explain that, although she may love Agnes and want to be friends with her, it’s not a good friendship. They have been friends since high school and Agnes is my sister’s only constant friend in a sea of friendships that don’t last. Mary has recently moved to another state due to Jeff’s job, so she has been pretty isolated as she doesn’t know anyone there. Mary is also pregnant. 5 months or so and is due in December so things have been a little stressful for her. Mary recently let my mother and I know that they chose godparents and that they picked: Robert (26M;little brother) and Agnes. I was shocked and asked if Don knew about them choosing Agnes and she said, they were waiting until closer to the due date to tell them and that ultimately it was their decision and Don should understand that. I told Mary that if she didn’t tell Don immediately I would, because he deserves to know. He’s tried to be understanding of their continue friendship, but it hurts him because he feels Mary should have his back given the circumstances. This would be the tipping point in their relationship. My mother thinks I shouldn’t say anything and that I’m TA for wanting to tell him, Mary is upset and thinks I’m TA and should stay out of it. My fiancé agrees with me and thinks I should tell Don so he isn’t blindsided. Edit 1: I just want to clarify some things about Don’s dogs and why he didn’t take them with him when he moved into my sister’s home. He didn’t abandon them. My sister and BIL have an 8-9 year old female dog that they rescued when she was 6 months old. She has prior behavioral issues and does better in a one dog home. Because of her past history of being adopted and returned and abused in a previous home, she has become very territorial of her space. They have done amazing work in rehabilitating her to the point where people (other than family because she did amazing with family) can now be around her with her exhibiting behaviors. Because of this my brother could not take any of his dogs with him when he moved in with them. My sister’s dog doesn’t do well with other female dogs and my brother has 2. One of them being my sister’s dog’s littermate. So it was best for the animals involved to keep his dogs with Agnes. Edit 2: My brother is not a free loader. I’m not sure where anyone got that idea, but he has a good job and can provide for himself. My sister, BIL and brother just figured they could all help each other out to get to their goals faster. Plus, when my brother left his ex it happened fast and he wasn’t able to find anything available to rent in his area that wouldn’t make his commute to work difficult. Which would also make it difficult to see his dogs. Living with my sister made it so he was only a 20 minute drive from his dogs so he could see them if Agnes decided he could see them on short notice. Plus our state has high property taxes and rental prices, so he wanted time to save up enough to cover a down payment or security and however many months rent a particular rental property requires. They have all since moved into their own homes as planned. Edit 3: I feel I have to clarify this: Agnes is not a good or nice person. She has never been a good friend to Mary for their entire friendship. Agnes has talked about Mary behind her back from the beginning; has tried to break Mary and Jeff up numerous times, gets jealous of the time Mary spends with her family, is jealous of the close relationship Mary and I have because Agnes and her sister don’t have a good relationship. She refuses to pay rent to her grandmother in her grandmother’s home, forced her grandmother to buy her a new car when she totaled her first one. Not to mention decided to make a decision about my brother and her’s unborn child without discussing it with him first. If you catch my meaning. Not to mention the many emotionally abusive and manipulative things she has done and said to Don and Mary.

So, I’m in my early 20s, and I recently lost my job at a big company that lets people go for any reason. It wasn’t like I was fired for no reason. I met with HR, looked at footage from our internal cameras, and even wrote a statement explaining what happened. But the company still said it was because of some policy or integrity issue, which I don’t think is fair. What I said didn’t change anything or how they wrote it down. I’d been with the company for a few years, and I hadn’t gotten into trouble before for this issue. I’m not trying to sue them because I’m mad. I just want to talk to an employment lawyer to see if they handled the situation fairly and if this record could hurt me later. I’m already applying to jobs and have an interview coming up, so I’m not stuck or refusing to move forward. My family, especially my brother and mom, think it’s pointless to talk to a lawyer because the company is at-will. My brother has talked to others who agree that I’m doing this the wrong way. They want me to empty my savings to pay off my debt and move on, and there’s also pressure at home to either do that or plan to move out. It feels like all the hard work I put into saving money and my concerns about my career are being ignored. I don’t want to sue or spend recklessly. I just want to know before I make big decisions I can’t easily change. I’m trying to make a careful decision based on long-term consequences, not react emotionally to losing my job. AITA for wanting to consult a lawyer after being fired, instead of draining my savings to pay debt like my family insists? UPDATE: Since I forgot to enclose this information. I would also like to note that I have documented disabilities, including ADHD, anxiety, and autism, which were disclosed to my employer and accompanied by approved accommodations. Throughout my employment, I worked diligently to comply with company policies and relied on established procedures and systems when performing my duties. I had no prior performance or integrity violations related to this issue. I am not raising this as an excuse for misconduct, but as relevant context in understanding my actions, the absence of pattern-based concerns, and whether the response taken was proportionate and consistent with how similar situations are typically handled.

I, F 22, still live with my parents and siblings and goes to uni. I Shaved my head yesterday without telling my parents. I always wanted to shave my head ever since I can remember, IDK why I wanted to do it but finally i did it, but the thing is all this time I would jokingly but deep down seriously would say occasionally that I would shave my head to anyone actually, it wasnt a sudden decision, (and i would also like to say my hair was a bit damaged and it was irritating me and i didnt want to put any chemicals that would momentarily fix it but in the long run gonna ruin it more). So, after i shaved only others in the family saw, Im completely bald and my mother didnt say anything other than "I didnt think you would actually do it" my siblings didnt say much either and since it was at night my father didnt see it till today and when he saw first thing he asked was "Why did u do it?" i said "just becoz I wanted to" to which he started saying "boys should be boys, girls should be girls, anyone trying to do something else like this are f#gs" and he then called me a f#g and I said "thanks" I mean wt am I supposed to say? I was trying my best to not laugh at the time...ppl would say it hurts when someone says that to you but In reality it didnt hurt me at all and fyi im not gay but I know for sure many ppl including him thinks I am gay for years coz Im a tomboy and I cant help that my body structure is build in a very masc/big way right? I mean i never gave a damn about wt anyone thinks in that aspect anyways so it didnt hurt me even a single second. but, he just went on and on about saying things about it generally and scolding my mother saying things(I tuned out half way).. see, i am a detached person so even if he says things about my mother it doesnt really hurt me or anything (IK that may sound like im a complete heartless ahole but my family was never the lovely type and growing up we had never gone a day without screaming, It was always my father screaming/yelling/degrading/ and all sorts of things to everyone specially my mother and she too sometimes say something but most of the time dont, and my siblings and I didnt say anything back in the day but, recent years my siblings would say things back but I would never, see, Iam the middle child and only girl, I hate fights/arguments/loud noises (I think im autistic to be honest but, undiagnosed) so non of us grew up feeling loved hence the detached feelings I have developed (but as I mentioned my neurodivergent brain has something to do with it too) ). I doubt he is going to talk to me for a while, and sorry but not sorry I dont mind. So, given everything, should I have told him/them before shaving my head? coz honestly I dont feel like the ahole. ps. Yes, I still live under them(my mother is the one who spend for almost everything) pps. sorry this is my first time on Reddit, I'm not sure im doing it right or not.

Hi Reddit, My friends are divided on whether I was in the wrong here. I’ve been close friends with someone I’ll call A for about 30 years and we’re one another’s oldest friends. We’ve lived in the same city most of that time (except for university). We have different communication styles. She is very open, while I tend to be more private, but we’ve always made it work. A few months ago, I decided that I needed a drastic change in my life. I was feeling burned out at work and I hate where I live. I saw what the future looked like here and I just didn’t want it for myself. I took another job and decided to move across the country to another city that has milder weather. I haven’t been there before and I don’t know anyone, but I just wanted a new start, so I found an apartment online and I’m moving at the end of next week. The job and the move aren’t connected - I could do the job from anywhere. I’ve moved to a few different places to start over but I was looking to escape at the time. Now, I feel like I’m in a good headspace and this move is for the right reasons. Now here’s where I think I might be the asshole - I didn’t tell my friend about the job or the move because I know that she would ask a lot of questions and try to talk me out of it, and I just didn’t feel like getting into it. However, I told her two weeks ago about the move and she seemed supportive at the time, but she’s been pretty distant since. I’ve been talking to her about the move because I’m excited and she either just ‘likes’ my text or she’ll respond with ‘great!’ The only meaningful exchange we had was when she asked if I’ve seen this apartment building in real life or talked to tenants and I said no. Today, I sent her a text about selling some shelves and being happy about that and she responded with a (paraphrased) text that said that she understood that I was excited and she’s happy for me, but she’s grieving that I’m leaving and that this friendship wasn’t as deep as she had thought it was as I ‘couldn’t be bothered’ to tell her about the job or move. Therefore, she really couldn’t hear the move updates anymore and needed some space. I had told her at the time that she could visit me if she wanted, so it’s not like I’m just dumping her. Some friends feel like I should have told her, but again I know she would have asked a lot of annoying questions about it and I didn’t want to deal with it. Was I the asshole here?

Some context: My wife loves going to the supermarket I think it's boring and really don’t like it. I see it as a chore, while my wife sees it as a fun activity. She knows I don’t enjoy it, but we have to go once a week, so it is what it is. My wife works from home and doesn't drive, so she doesn’t get out of the house much. Today (Friday), as I was waking up to get ready for my 9-to-5, my wife came to bed (she always wakes up early) to help me wake up and say good morning. She said, "Come on, babe, wake up, get out of bed, it's Friday! You're almost done," referring to the fact that I've been complaining all week about not having enough time to do some things around the house (stuff I enjoy) because something always came up after work (assembling furniture, finishing a time-sensitive course a.k.a stuff I don’t enjoy). In my head, I’m happy that it’s finally Friday. Then she said, "Oh, and I forgot, but we need to go to the supermarket today" (she definitely knew this would be the last thing on my mind right now), to which I responded with a sad "aww, I want to cry," jokingly, of course. She then said, "I haven’t gotten out of this house since last Saturday," and I was like, "Do we really have to?" Then she got all sad and said, "You know what? Never mind, I don’t want to go anymore," and left the room. Keep in mind, during this whole conversation, I wasn’t even fully awake yet and needed to get ready for work. So I got ready and went to her and told her it’s okay and we definitely should go to the supermarket. But she was still upset, saying, "No, it’s fine. I should probably just Uber there on my own since you hate it so much." She later explained that it’s not about the supermarket, the problem is that I never think about how she never gets out of the house. And that might be true, at least for this week, because I’ve been looking forward to Friday so I could finally get the stuff done that I’ve been meaning to do all week. I’ve also been very vocal about this. So, AITA? EDIT. Wow did not expect this amount of comments and i cant respond to them all but let me answer some of the more common questions. - Why doesn't she get out on her own? She doesn't have her driver's license and the weather is a bit much for her at the moment(-10C). She is working on getting her license tho. - Why don't you just go to the supermarket? I will! And I do every week, some times multiple times per week. I know she likes it and sometimes I take her to different ones just because I know she loves it. It's just today in particular I really wasn't feeling like it, but i was still going to do it.

Hello, this happened to me and my mom a year ago but watching Reddit readings on YouTube have reminded me of this event. So I (22M) and my mom (46F) went to Publix for some grocery shopping after she had gotten off work, and when we got there we both realized we needed to use the restroom. Our Publix has a women’s restroom to the left, a men’s restroom to the right, and then in between them is a family/disability friendly restroom which is just one large stall. My mom goes to the women’s, and I prefer to go to the single restroom because I am a transgender man and I don’t feel comfortable going to the men’s restroom yet, so I head for that one. The door was unlocked, so I figured it was unoccupied but of course when I opened it I walked in on a guy mid pee. He shouts “oh shit”, I turn on my heels and close the door behind me, and I quickly walk into the women’s restroom as it is my last resort to take a piss. My mom and I are the only ones in there, and she asks if something happened because I sounded a bit startled. I say “yeah I just walked in on a guy in the single bathroom, I feel really bad!” And then laugh at myself because of course with my luck that would happen. 30 seconds later, as my mom and I are washing our hands and still talking about it (because when I’m embarrassed I don’t shut up about the thing I’m embarrassed about), the guy comes out of the single restroom and shouts through the women’s bathroom door “KNOCK NEXT TIME YOU FUCK” before storming off and leaving the store, cart full of groceries still in the single restroom and all. Of course I feel bad because I didn’t mean for him to hear us or to sound like we were making fun of him, but we didn’t really think much of it afterwards until we got home and told the story to my stepdad who said that I was in the wrong for making fun of the situation, because it sounded like we were making fun of him. My mom and I disagree with him, because we were very obviously talking about my luck with social situations, but that’s why I’m here to ask am I the asshole for walking in on the guy and talking about it afterwards.

long story short I go see my gf on the weekends and last weekend on Saturday night we were watching a movie and when i was getting up my leg accidentally knocked over a cup of water off the table. She then seemed pretty upset from that, I tried to help her clean it. The next day we both went somewhere together it was just silent and awkward because of what happened the night before, after we got back she says I think we should cut the weekend short and says that she needs time alone. So I left and about 7 hours later she called me twice but I was sleeping and never bothered to call back or text. It’s been about 2 and a half days of no contact now. I just want to know if I’m overreacting or she is, and who ‘should’ be the one to reach out first in a scenario like this.

(Throwaway because my friends know my main) I (20F) lent my friend (21F) ₹20,000 about 4 months ago because she said she was “behind on rent” and would be kicked out otherwise (we're both in uni). She promised to pay me back in two weeks. I agreed because she’s my close friend and I didn’t want her to struggle. But in these 4 months, she’s been living her best life. She is constantly posting her visits to expensive cafes and Starbucks cups on her insta story. Meanwhile, every time I ask about my money, it’s “next week” or “my salary is delayed.” Last week, I finally snapped and told her she owed me not just the ₹20,000 but also 5% interest per month since she broke her promise. If she can spend on takeout and gadgets, she can pay me back with accountability. She went ballistic. She told me I was acting like “a loan shark” and that I’m supposed to “help friends out, not exploit them.” Then she blasted me in our group chat, saying I’m greedy and toxic. Some mutual friends are siding with her, saying I should “let it go” because “money ruins friendships.” But from my side, she borrowed under a clear promise and broke it. She does have money (just not for paying me back). Now she says she won’t pay me at all unless I “drop the interest demand.” So AITA for charging my friend interest after lending her money, when she clearly spends on non-necessity items instead of paying me back?

For context, we have been dating for 4 months. I (29F) have been out of work the last few months. I have always worked in the night club industry as a cocktail waitress/bottle girl since I was 18. My boyfriend knew this going into the relationship, and I had even worked a few shifts at some clubs during the relationship. He never mentioned feeling uncomfortable about it or anything of the sort. However, he has a difficult time expressing his feelings. This has lead to some rough patches in our relationship. I have a job interview today for a local dive bar as a bartender. This morning, he tried to “soft break up” with me by saying “I don’t want to hold you back”. I asked him where this was coming from, and he finally sent me a text saying: "I just picture u working at some shitty bar in a ghetto area getting hit on by scumbags all the time when you’re gonna be at work and I don’t like it. Butt it’s not for me to decide or bring u down about finding something u wanna do. It’s not my place to tell u . U can find something better though” I’m unsure how to move forward with this. I’ve had a difficult time finding a job. I have all the experience for this particular job, but I feel it’ll doom my relationship. I’m now questioning whether I should even bother going to the interview. I already feel like a mess from this morning. What should I do? Thanks for any advice or suggestions. ETA: I feel the need to add this tidbit since some commenters are pointing out my “lack of ambition” due to my longevity in the night life industry. I am CURRENTLY in nursing school as well. I DO need a job to pay off my student loans.

(Context) 16m i want to sleep on the floor because when i sleep on my bed it makes my body go heavy when i wake up. My moms gets at mad at me for sleeping in the floor, but the thing is i really want to sleep on the floor because of how my body doesn't get heavy when i wake up. I really feel guilty when my mom scolds me about it, but at the same time i really want to wake up not feeling tired.

Context- me (18f) and my friend (18m) have been friends since primary school very on and off where we should chat a lot and then don’t speak at all but never awkward. When we were about 15/16 we started talking more and calling every night we both started catching feelings and after about 6 months we went out on a date. The date was fine nothing bad happened but it did make me feel like I only saw him as a friend I made this clear to him and said I still want to be friends and that I was really sorry. He sent a rude message back and we didnt rlly ever talk. He messaged me maybe a year later saying he thinks that we could work but I again said I only see you as a friend. This year we started talking again and calling occasionally but I had reiterated that I only saw him as a friend and he said he aswell saw me as a friend. Because we had known each other for so long I do feel very comfortable around him and I find him very easy to talk to. We joke around a lot and are usually never serious. Anyway one night we got onto the conversation of what have done intimately with other people and that kind of topic it was a lighthearted conversation that was mainly jokey. in the middle of the call he said to me check what I sent you and it was a picture of his you know what I did feel rlly uncomfortable especially because he kept asking me to send him something, I don’t do that so I kept saying no absolutely not. After a while he felt bad and was apologising I said it’s fine don’t worry there’s nothing to stress about. After I ended the call I was very anxious and overthinking I messaged him and said don’t worry about it but please know this doesn’t change anything for me I only see you as a friend and that won’t change he agreed but I didn’t rlly believe him. The worst part is I was meant to meet him the next week around his house and the thought of that made me sick it worried me what the conversation would lead to and if he thought I was going to do anything with him. He didn’t try and message me and I was busy with work so I didn’t message him and I was physically disgusted at the thought of messaging him and so after the day I was meant to meet him he messaged me saying ‘bro’ I just didn’t wanna deal with it so I blocked him. I did feel better that I blocked him but I know Im a terrible person for doing that without explaining anything. Please do keep in mind that there have been a lot of times that he would message me (before this) saying he will always have feelings for me and basically begging me to give him another chance romantically. I do feel bad because I feel like maybe I lead him on by calling him and stuff and maybe I am overthinking and he does just think of me as a friend but I can’t even message him without the thought of being sick sick. Am I overreacting?

I've been waiting for my appointed visit at a local clinic, when I heard a guy at the reception, complaining how he didn't know and wasn't informed that he needs to have an appointment. Apparently he's called call center and they told him he can just go and take his blood test. The receptionist tried to explain to him how the call center makes mistakes quite often, they are separate, and she can't do anything about it because, well, she's just a receptionist. He then went on how it's unprofessional as they are one company, that he's in the city only once in a while, he doesn't have time, that he will make a complaint, yada yada, and he just kept on going. A lady sitting next to me silently laughed at the situation, as if scoffing him, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like all he's doing is pour his frustration and anger on a poor receptionist, so I stood up and confronted him about it. He told me to sit down and not butt in, he even wanted to take this outside. I said he needs to go, then the other receptionist threatened him with calling security and only then did he finally leave. On one hand, I know where he's coming from. There have also been times where I was frustrated by some stupid procedures and being misled by others, so I understand he felt the need to correct it. But at the same time the way he's been taking it out on the receptionist like he was on a high ground, and I saw how futile it is, I felt the urge to stop it ASAP. Maybe the way I did it was too crude, harsh and insensitive? What I did was that I told him he's just taking it out on the receptionist, and that it's futile and he should just make a complaint at call center. Maybe I should've empathetically tried to let him know that I understand how he feels, and try to persuade him to see how he's only hurting her? Would that be enough to make him walk a way a little bit less dissatisfied, or he still wouldn't have any of it with how heated he was? Maybe at least I would know that I did the best possible approach, but couldn't think of the empathetic words back then. So, what do you think, AITA?

(M29)I’ve been friend with a girl(F32) I met at work for more than 5 years. We used to talk here and there, and meet up after work with other co-workers. Lately we started talking much more, which I suspect is because her boyfriend of 12+ years broke up with her. I like to talk about relationships, and male behavior so she kind of liked my “advice”. I knew something was funky (we used to go out a lot, and one day I just asked her if her bf had no problem with us going out so much), she then confessed they broke up like 6 months ago. Anyways, our friendship grew closer and she started talking to me every single day. 2 days ago, she stopped talking to me because she stopped by my house to give me something I asked her to buy (she was going to the store I had to go), I also told her she didn’t have to do the trip, I could simply go to her house and pick it up (5 mins trip). By the time she came to my house I was already drained from the day and she just started asking a bunch of questions which I told her I was tired and didn’t really have the energy to engage. So she throws a tantrum and says that she won’t be speaking or being good with me, which I thought she was bluffing but really stopped talking to me, until today. So today, she messages me in the morning saying “we need to talk” and I simply replied “ok”. After I finish my daily routine and I’m back to my house, I message her to which she replied and asked : “you only wrote to me because I told you we had to talk?” to which I replied “yes, you told me you wanted to talk”. So she says, “yea, because you don’t text me unless I do”. To which I replied, “If we got no topic, there’s no need to talk”. Then she says, “I got nothing to tell you”. I replied, “I don’t think not speaking for a few days means I’m your enemy… I didn’t know that was a social rule”. To which she answered with a No. But I know she’s mad. I’m very confused. AITA? (P.D I don’t have feelings for her whatsoever or have ever told her anything other than friendship, she has also met several girlfriends of mine and even knows I’m dating someone currently). (P.D.D Sorry for bad english) (Edit: She’s a female friend)

I've (25F) been staying with my sister (37) and her husband (50) this week and have been noticing his drinking behavior. I've been helping out with chores, like recycling, and have seen the piles of cans that go out to the can each week. Every night, he comes home from work and sits in front of the TV for 4 hours and gets up to get a new drink every hour or so. Today, he came home with 2 8-packs of vodka sodas around 4/5 pm. I walked into the kitchen around 8/9 and saw one of the new boxes was open and there were 4 gone. They are 4.5% alc. He is the only one that drinks them. My sister is pregnant and I'm on a no-sugar diet. It's not like I was intentionally counting. I just take notice of my surroundings and my brain does the math. My sister and I have a history of alcoholism on my mom's side of the family. We have both had to deal with the drunks in the family, so naturally I was a little concerned. 3-4 drinks a night, every night, seems like a lot. I can't imagine how much he is spending on these vodka sodas every month. (I've actually gone to the kitchen again now and there are another 2 missing. Though I did not see him drink 2 more, so he may have put them in the garage or something.) I gently tried to bring it up to her after she went to bed. She became defensive and said I was coming off as "judgy." I told her I really didn't mean it that way, I just noticed and was concerned. I even reasoned that maybe since he was a larger dude (nearly 7 foot) that his frequency of drinking was normal for a man his size. She asked why I would be concerned if he's not getting drunk or acting inappropriately. Then said, "We wouldn't want to have to act any different than we would if you weren't here." Which tells me this is normal. I don't know. It wasn't really my place and I've made things uncomfortable by even bringing it up. AITA?

I’m 27F and live at home. It’s been pretty good and decent with some up and downs. I just got back from a music festival, I’m getting sick, and had to go into work today. I’m just feeling so lethargic, foggy brained and overall grumpy. When I get home I’m not talkative and want alone time. I specify that but she made dinner so of course I will eat it, do the dishes. I take a nap and she wakes me up to ask if I want a salad and a million questions…I respond with short responses. The whole night if im not my usual self she’s like “this is the worst mood you have ever been in”. “You’re so grumpy” and doesn’t ask me why, etc, just proceeds to make comments. (I have definitely been in worse moods) I however ask to hang out to watch our shows together and then after I say I’m going to my room I just want to be alone. It’s nighttime and she barges in and is on the ground petting my dog and talking to my dog while I’m watching my show. I say “you can take her and go to your room” like if you want her to sleep with you just take her. She goes “am I bothering you?” In a non serious tone I thought she was kinda joking. I go “well kinda I just want to do my thing” she proceeds to scream at me saying I’m fucking rude and I’m like “wait I didn’t mean it like that” and she goes off telling me to not fucking talk to her and I’m a bitch and I can’t believe I would say that etc etc…. Is this an overreaction on both of our parts? I just feel like whenever I’m in a bad mood it makes her upset and then I get yelled at.

I (33 f) and my boyfriend (35 m) have been together for seven months now. He is a really good guy that sometimes has a hard time communicating his feelings. However, sometimes this lack of communication can make me feel anxious. Sometimes he wont text me all day when I have texted him a couple of times during the day, and then he will call me and act like he didn't practically ignore me all day. This is becoming more and more frequent. I have a lot of insecurities centered around jealousy and cheating because of my ex's. My boyfriend knows this and it has caused some arguments in our relationship because he said that it is not his job to reassure me with my insecurities. He has also said to me "I don't have time to cheat". After our last big fight concerning this where I ended up crying, he called me the next day to suggest that we go to counseling so that he can better support me as my partner with my insecurities. I agreed and we moved on. However, this is where I might be the asshole; After a day of him ignoring my texts and him calling me to talk, he casually brought up that his work friend said that he should volunteer for a work trip that she is going on in a couple of months. For context, this work friend and him carpool to work meetings together at least once a month and they talk to each other on the phone about work related things a lot. She is his mentor. He says that she is his work best friend and that she is his friend outside of work too. He said that she said this would help his career, and he got defensive when I started asking more about it. Immediately, alarm bells went off in my head. I thought about all of those stories where people cheat on their partner on work trips, so all I could said was "Ok" and "How long will you be gone?". He told me that he doesn't know how long it will be but that it's out of state. He told me that its not for awhile, like that would make it all better. A little longer into the conversation, he said that he had to call me back and he hung up without saying "I love you" which he has also been doing more frequently. When I have brought it up in the past, he said that I was being clingy. When he hung up, I felt extremely hurt and anxious that he didn't even think about turning down the volunteering opportunity. I feel like he should have thought about at least saying no because he is in a relationship, but he didn't. He immediately said yes and basically just brought it up to at least tell me. Im worried about him going on the trip because of all those stories and because he would have time to . . . You know. We have been together for seven months, but he just brought up counseling because of my insecurities, and now he wants to go on a work trip with another woman. So AITA for getting upset? P.S.: A lot of the time, he tells me that he doesn't like clingy partners, but he is clingy himself a lot. One time, I didn't text him back when I was sick, and he broke up with me because he thought I was ignoring him. When I explained to him why I didn't answer, he acted like he never broke up with me. He tells me that he doesn't like jealousy, but he got jealous over a delivery guy because the delivery guy smiled at me. Also, when I worked a more demanding job, I couldn't text back as much, and he texted me, "I don't think this is working. I don't think I'm a priority to you." I agreed and said we should just be friends. He basically had an "Oh shit" moment and tried to get me back for a whole week. He was texting me at least six times a day.

My father is buying a truck to pull a camper he's getting to do some travel, because he doesn't want to drive around a big bus/motorhome. He's buying a truck out of state. He invites me to join him on the trip. However, he is buying tickets for a flight, which is 4 days away. He buys the tickets and sends me stuff by email confirming it. I'm now excited, as I am lucky enough to both have a father and one who I have a pretty good (nobody is perfect) relationship with. I want to spend time with him and this is a fantastic opportunity to do so. He talks to my sister, who unintentionally sabotages the whole thing - she mentions the "new requirements" as of May this year to have REAL-ID compliant identification to fly in the US, even domestically. I don't have that, and it takes a couple weeks minimum to get one. Its unofficial, but I am confident I can catch a flight in the US between states any time I want with just my regular DL. This isn't good enough though - **my father decides its too risky and demotes me from joining him on the trip to just driving him and his SO to the airport**. I am frustrated but still say yes initially, but **in under an hour** (I am fairly upset which I think is justified) **I let him know I think they should find someone else to drive them, because "my non-compliant driver's license probably isn't reliable enough"**. **I text my sister, and I say "I know you probably didn't mean this, but you've sabotaged a trip with dad"**. Her response is that its "not a good look for me getting angry at her" (I wasn't that angry) and she's "trying to save me from getting into a fight with TSA" (hilarious, I would never 'get into a fight with' TSA). **She ends the text message with "YTA"**. I'm tempted to buy a ticket and catch a flight just to be petty and prove I'm right, but that seems like my ego and not my brain making a silly decision. **Ultimately the problem lies with my father who feels it is "too risky" with even a small chance of being delayed/denied boarding with my in-state driver's license**. * People fly with regular drivers licenses all the time, even specifically out of the airport I'll be visiting. * Comments here on reddit even stating they've got through security at that airport no problem and *not even delayed* as recently as 2 months ago. I didn't search longer for even more recent comments. * The new real-ID stuff is quite literally a fast pass system, its a way to speed and smooth the process of going through security. My sister said ITA. Am I, my sister, or my dad TA?

Sorry for bad grammar, English isn't my first language. I (23m) just got an "ultimatum" from my mom's boyfriend, stating that if I don't find a full time job I have to go live with my dad. I'm not saying that living with my dad is a problem, it's the fact I have tried working a normal job but I just can't. I have tried three normal jobs before but I can't keep them because of health problems (I have ADHD, autism, dyspraxia and have struggled with my back for as long as I can remember). Either I work half as fast as anyone else or I work as fast but my work is only half as good. I started in landscaping at 20 where I didn't work fast enough and my back suffered under it (during my two week notice I was only able to work a total of 5 days because my back just didn't allow me to). After that I worked as a packer at a factory but again I couldn't work fast enough in combination with my back issues. At my third job my primary task was to take samples of potatoes while making sure the system worked and work with truck drivers. I had to do this all at the same time but just froze because of it. Each job drained me mentally to the point I just went home and slept to regain any energy to go back to work the next day. Little over a year now I found a job at a fryery where I work 12 hours a week. I have been able to work there for the longest and am at my most comfortable. I don't make as much as a normal job (which is obvious) but I make enough to pay 'rent' at home, save some money and have a little spending money. I already talked to my psychiatrist about my mom not understanding that it's the only comfortable job I can find. He explained this to my mom and she said she understood it but now it came up again. I think her boyfriend is the one that pushes her to put this on me because of several statements he has made. Wednesday I go back to my psychiatrist and ask him what I should do. I'm not out for advice on what I should do but I just want to know if I am the asshole for not continuing to look for another job that pays more. TL;DR: AITA for not having a full time job at 23 if I can't find a job I can do while feeling mentally stable