My husband (31m) and I (31f) have been married for 10 years. He works in a top tech firm and I used to work for a top investment bank. When we had our first kid nearly 7 years ago, we decided I would take a step back from career. I went back to work briefly after 2years but v quickly got pregnant again and have been home with them since. Husband has ADHD+depression+social anxiety, which is relevant because his ADHD manifests along with other more common symptoms as a lack of empathy. I always did the majority of housework even when I worked FT (he was initially a uni student when we got married). He doesn’t contribute to household work at all except taking out the bins when he remembers (I did this the last 3 weeks because he forgot-ADHD). He doesn’t do any practical things for the kids, doesn’t know their teachers, hasn’t even seen our youngest’s preschool because he didn’t make time to stop work to come and meet her teacher (it’s 5 mins drive from our house), doesn’t know their favourite foods etc. He also gets very easily angry/frustrated with them (and me) if it takes a long time to get somewhere like on a walk (our kids are 6&3 so that’s normal). We recently moved house and I packed everything myself, then unpacked while trying to homeschool our eldest and amuse our youngest until the end of the school year. He packed his Lego in hundreds of tupperwares and that’s literally all he packed for our house move. I’m trying to launch a career as a writer which has always been my dream job (during the 8 hours a week I get child-free when our youngest is at preschool) and have asked him to start putting away his own laundry (I wash and sort it into a laundry basket for him) to free up a bit of time for me. He is angry about this and says everything to do with the house and kids is “my job”. I asked this evening to have a break from doing bedtime as I’ve done it solo every night for weeks except for the odd occasion he comes up and sits in the room while scrolling on his phone and he said “do I get a break from my job?” (It’s the weekend; he only has to work M-F). He doesn’t get up in the mornings at all to help with breakfast/dressing kids/school run. He gets in from work and goes to lie down. He lives on his own time schedule with what suits him best and I deal with the kids and the house solo. I’m starting to feel very burned out (I also recently got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease which saps my energy) and I’d like to get him to help a bit around the house and with the kids. AITA for asking this even though he’s working full-time?