This might be a long post. My wife and I have been married for a little over a year and are only married because of a legal situation that risked my step son being put in the custody of an unfit caretaker. We had a relationship that I would call ideal before all of this went down, we desired each other, we supported each other, we were a couple through and through and I thought that went both ways. For about two months before I found out about the cheating I was working very hard to get us out of the one bed apartment we were in and into a two bed apartment so our son could have his own room. My step sons bio dad was mostly in the picture and visited quite often, he was in a relationship as well. I'll call him john and her jane. Jane and my wife were close aquaintences, I wouldnt say friends but my wife watched janes kids, and jane would hang out with my wife. I found out through a phone call my wife was on with jane that jane was cheating on john with a few other guys. Knowing this and being very against cheating and cheaters I told John what was going on. Ive never had repsect for john, but I cant hold that kind of information to myself it feels wrong. My wife got upset with me for telling him, without telling her that I was going to. So in moments when she "felt bad for him" they talked very sexually over text and traded pictures. All the while I had just gotten to a place in our relationship that I was able to ask to see her phone if I felt insecure. One night she gets a notification on snapchat and I ask who it is, without doing much but quickly swiping it away she tells me its john saying "hi". Later I ask her if I can see the message and she says "can we do this later im tired" and gets upset that I am feeling insecure and asking to see her phone, glossing over the progress I had made by asking in the first place. We get the apartment and start packing up our things to move. I pinched a nerve in my back and was bedridden and useless for a lot of the packing process. My wife makes a passing comment about how she would have just walked it off and be fine with a pinched nerve. While john is also moving in with one of his friends. My wife offers to help him move, and takes a lot longer than expected to get everything done and get back home. She tells me they are going to stop to eat. They sit in a parking lot for over an hour and she said they forgot about food and just sat and talked. When she gets home shes in a mood and wants to get intimate almost instantly. After we moved into the apartment its expressed that neither of us want john to know our new address, and if he wanted to see his son it would be in a public place where he would hopefully be forced to actually engage with his son. I was at work when my wife called me and told me that john was threatening to blackmail her if she didnt give up the address. I asked her what he had on her to use as blackmail and she said she didnt know.