I had my son tested by a child psychologist because he does flap his hands and is speech delayed. The psychologist said he is not autistic, he doesn’t have enough criteria (?) to meet that diagnosis. It was reaffirmed he is just speech delayed and he will grow out of hand flapping (already it’s less and less so) My husband (going through a trial separation for other reasons) still believes he is autistic because his mom believes it. And yes I do think he wouldn’t be inclined to believe that if his mom wasn’t voicing her opinions to him. It pisses me off so I texted my spouse “your mom is autistic. You guys are insulting my son. 🖕 “ Even though I didn’t say it to her directly I think I may be the asshole because I am using it as an insult therefore am being derogatory to a whole community and because my MIL is always kind to me and does love her grandson. TLDR in law thinks my son is autistic despite diagnosis so I texted my spouse I think she is the one who is autistic.