Backstory- wife is pregnant. We were due September 7th, but found out we are going to be induced tomorrow evening, baby boy will most likely be here August 27th. Last year, we were pregnant with a girl, and lost her to a stillborn birth. So there are a lot of emotions beyond a standard pregnancy here. Her Mom and Dad are very social and have historically chosen to do social events when we have needed them. Her Dad has a demanding career, but her Mom does not work. They are loving people, and generally good Grandparents to our 3 yo son... when we bring him around/ask for help. They never ask to see him unless prompted. Story: My wife calls my MIL. Says the news, how excited/nervous/anxious we are, etc. They are supposed to go to a wedding for her niece (my wife's cousin) this weekend that is out-of-state. My wife asked if she was going to help with our son- she said "I'll be able to get him to/from preschool on Wed and Thurs, but we fly out Friday morning". This immediately made my blood boil- if it were my child, there would be no question that no matter what was going on, I would be there to help them during the birth of my grandchild. My wife was direct with her that we need help beyond Thurs, and MIL said "well have you thought about [XYZ neighbors]?" My wife said "absolutely not, I don't need your help in figuring this out if you're saying you can't help, I'm asking you." She continued to flounder and say "I'll see i I can push my flight back Friday..." I hung up the phone. I was at the point where I was about to lose it. My wife is in therapy and has talked about her relationship with her mom and her mom's relationship with our son countless times. Every time she's confronted her, though, she starts yelling/crying about it, and nothing is accomplished. So my wife has mostly decided to just internalize it in the past to avoid a blow-up. This, though, goes beyond that in my opinion. She needs to understand that she is choosing something other than HER OWN DAUGHTER and HER GRANDCHILDREN in this situation. Sure, it's a shitty situation, but as a parent, you signed up for this. I want to call her and tell her how unnecessarily emotional/anxious her selfishness is making my wife in a time where she needs to be calm and cared for. That she needs to be a MOTHER for once. I know, though, that she will almost certainly have a childish blow-up. Extra layer- my mom is out of the picture due to being an opioid addict/alcoholic. We essentially have no relationship. There's a lot of emotions around that. My Dad lives 500 miles away, but is going to come up "whenever we tell him to be here" and will help as much as we ask him- but he always does, and in my wife's words, she wanted to "give her a chance to make the right decision for once". So I'm 99% sure we don't NEED her, but it would help. So, WIBTA if I called her, and urged her to make a decision for her daughter for once? Or is it best to avoid that, given all that is about to transpire?