So my boyfriend, we'll call him "Jake" (20, M), is turning 21 next month. It's an exciting age to be turning, but he's not the birthday kinda guy. Mostly, what he wants to do is chill and celebrate in a laid-back way. He doesn't like eating out at restaurants or drinking. His sister (28, F) calls and asks if he wants to go to this specific bar for his birthday. For context, she's been bringing it up throughout the past weeks, and every time he's said "ehhh maybe, idk." and "I don't want to do anything for my birthday." Well, this time she started asking again, and he said the same things. She kept begging and pleading with him to go to the bar to celebrate, and he kept reassuring her that it wouldn't be a good time for him. Then she says, "I've been waiting my whole life to drink with you." In my opinion, after he turns 21, you will have the rest of your life to drink with your brother, though, right? Why does it have to be specifically on his birthday if that's not what he wants to do? Then she says, "I'm going to text your friend and be like, this is what I wanna do for Jake's birthday" The entire time I'm listening to this conversation, that part REALLY made me upset. Like girl, listen to what you just said. You just said, this is WHAT I WANT TO DO on my BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY. I'm sorry, but last time I checked, it was Jake's birthday, not her's, right? So then I finally interject and say... "But you guys can still go somewhere and drink together, it just doesn't have to be on his birthday. I feel like you shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want to do on your birthday." Then she hangs up and texts him, saying something like "it's annoying when she cuts into a conversation, and it's starting to piss me off, and I didn't go off on her when I could have." Now I need to know if I am I'm the asshole for defending my boyfriend against his guilt-tripping sister when she is making his bday about her? Maybe I am the asshole for cutting into their conversation (facetime call) and not encouraging my bf to go out and have fun for his 21st birthday, and I know how turning 21 is important to older siblings because their little siblings are finally grown up, it was for my big brother when I turned 21, but constantly pressuring someone and pleading with someone to do what YOU want to do on THEIR birthday doesn't seem right to me. I know I wouldn't want to do something I don't wanna do. My boyfriend Jake is a people pleaser, so he rarely says no and goes along with anything anyone else wants to do, and his sister normally gets everything she wants or gets upset when she doesn't get her way. I'm kinda tired of it.