context: i (16F) am in a friend group consisting of. myself and two boys,sam and aiden. ive known both of them for years only this summer have i got super close with them-they were already best friends. last month,sam went on holiday for 2 weeks and it that time aiden and i started hanging out alone. we ended up cuddling at one point and i even held his hand once however there was always a slight weird and off vibe about him but it was after a party where his behaviour was particularly detached i decided to end this sort of romantic side of the friendship,not cuddling,holding hands or even hanging out alone. the most id do is give him a hug goodbye, as i do with everyone. however,he continued to ask to hangout and luckily sam came home in time for me to not have to make it painfully obvious i was avoiding him on monday me and sam went to aidens and aiden asked if we could come round his in the evening on friday to have a few drinks and we agreed. when sam and i walked home from aidens wednesday he made a comment about how strange aiden could be sometimes-nothing unkind just observations. later sam called me and we got back to the topic of aiden and he told me the reason he thought he was weird was because before me there were two other girls whod theyd hung out with (both at separate times) and each time the girls would get really close with aiden then suddenly disappear and stop talking to the both of them entirely. this is when i decided to tell sam about the whole weird romantic stint we had and how aiden would actually compare me to these girls sam mentioned saying how id suit “black straight hair” (my hairs brown and wavy) just like these girls had. this clearly triggered something in sam because he then made me promise not to tell anyone but the real reason the first girl stopped talking to them was because one day aiden invited her and sam round for drinks and when she was really drunk aiden started aggressively groping her to the point where sam had to step in because she was too drunk to do anything. sam said he never told me about this because he didnt feel the need to for aidens sake but because he could see the cycle repeating he didnt want it to happen to me too. so of course,we both decided to cancel. he was upset and then immediately privately messaged me begging me specifically to still come,but absolutely nothing of the sort to sam. he went on to ask me if we could hang out without sam on the weekend but i told him i thought i was busy. the reason i feel like the asshole here is because A)aiden had been excited all week,constantly texting me telling me how much he was looking forward to it even offering to order me an uber there which made me feel really bad and also B)it does feel a bit like sam and i have ganged up on him here as were still going out drinking with other friends friday instead so i feel mean. so, are we both assholes and does anyone know how i should deal with this situation in future-thank you