Me (31F) and some friends (let's call them "Peter" 33M, "Jess" 30F, and "Alice" 39F) were at an event Saturday. It takes place at two conjoined music clubs in one building. The "downstairs" club's door opens to the back of the building with outdoor seating, the main "upstairs" club opens to the main street. After one of the concerts, me & the ladies split up. Me and Jess went out to the back seating where we found Peter. After a while, Alice texts me to asks where we are. I say we're upstairs. She doesn't turn up for ten or so minutes; we start wondering where she is. I look at my phone. A text from Alice - "Where are you guys? I'm upstairs and you're not here". This is where I realize that I have Fucked Up. We are, in fact, not upstairs. The seating area is DOWNSTAIRS. I have no idea why I said this, a brain fart ig. I'm immediately texting her back apologizing. From the tone of her replies I already know she's Pissed. Alice is very quick to anger, and frequently gets snappy with me. I have some pretty serious childhood trauma because of an abusive father, and sometimes, this gets triggered randomly. (She KNOWS this, she's known me for 16 years.) Suddenly all I can think about it how pissed she's gonna be when she comes back, and I start panicking, and when she does find us, I'm already hyperventilating. She opens by talking to Peter, not me; "Why is OP making such a scene?" etc, like I'm not right there. This, unfortunately, supercharges the panic attack that I am now having, because it's genuinely like I am hearing my father's exact words, the way he would react when I'd get emotional, asking my mother if I'm insane etc. I am now screaming; from there I am incoherent. Peter was comforting me, but I don't remember a single word he said through the whole thing. While this was going on, Alice "went on a walk" because she was so pissed at me. Eventually the fit passed. Peter tells me that Alice was mad that I "hadn't apologized right away instead of freaking out" (I had apologized in DMs, and probably would have again, if not for the fit). He had to leave soon after. Alice comes back. She's cold to me, doesn't ask me if I'm ok - just "Are you done?". And then launches into a thing about how it hurt her feelings that I was "assuming she'd be mad" and "now she feels like she did something to me" and "I didn't even apologize", like panic attacks are voluntary and I did it on purpose. I tried to explain that it wasn't really even her fault, trauma isn't logical and I just got triggered randomly, but she just kept talking abt how she's hurt. I sucked it up and just apologized. Why I might be TA - I'd forgotten to take my antidepressant that day, and my mood was likely volatile bcs of this. It's likely I wouldn't have overreacted if I had taken it. Alice is also going throigh a lot rn. Alice has been cold to me since, and I am so heartbroken by how I was belittled and blamed for an involuntary reaction that idk what to do with myself. AITA?