Throwaway because I don't want this coming back to my main account. Names are changed to protect the innocent. My brother Wade (30sm) got engaged over the summer. He and his wife are planning their wedding for later next year. He wanted to have my son Peter (7m) be his ring bearer. I said that I would be okay with it if his sister Wanda (10f) was also in the wedding party. That was when Wade admitted he wasn't thinking of including Wanda because he and Vanessa want to keep it split between their bridal party: his friends and family as the groomsmen and ring bearer, her bridal party has her relatives and friends and the two flower girls are their two respective nieces. I get where he's coming from. My main concern is Wanda feeling left out when her brother and cousin are in the party and she's not. She's someone who wants to help out and feels useless if she can't (we're working on this in therapy). Plus she lives for dressing up and feeling like a princess. In the end, I told Wade that I need to think about it but I may have to decline if Wanda doesn't have anything to do. He's been trying to get me to change my mind on letting Peter be in the wedding party since then. This got brought up at a Labor Day party we were at over the weekend. Most of our family is siding with Wade because it's his wedding and he should be allowed to have whoever he wants in it. The other reason is that Wanda can't always be involved with everything and it's not fair for Peter to miss out. I'm conflicted because I know if she's not in it, Wanda will get upset. But if I say no, Peter is going to be pissed. AITA? Edit: for those asking, she’s the only kid in the family who would not be in the party.