Hi this is my first time posting. I’m sorry if I’m doing this wrong but I think I just want feedback or thoughts. I (32m) was married for six months to my ex (late 20s, f). Things moved pretty quickly since we started dating right before Covid started. The timeline was about like: - Start dating October ‘19 - I say “I love you” about two weeks into dating. - Covid starts in March 2020 - We move in together that June - i started getting those “it’s time” chats from a few friends and family members (I was 26-27 at the time) around March of 2021 - We take a vacation in Summer 2021 and I propose - December, my parents gifts us a fat check to go towards our wedding - Ex wants to use said check to put a down payment on a house, which I wasn’t ready for and said so with hesitation, but she convinces me - We get married summer 2022. Her parents were really pushing to pay for it themselves even though we did have the money, but I think about half of that (tbh I can’t remember the amount) was used for the down payment. - December 2022, it’s clear neither of us are happy, so I end it. - I move out of the basement in April of 2023 Somewhere while we’re still living in an apartment before I propose, she convinces me to joint bank accounts. Not open a joint, but put all my money into her existing account, add my name on it, and then also open a credit card with both our names on it. We use both from time-to-time, both for little things and big purchases (car repairs, some prep for wedding, some things during the honeymoon) Anyway, I’m losing the plot here. When we split, she pulled out all the transactions and claimed I owed her over $7k for all the things on the credit card she deemed was something for me. I did pay a good chunk back because I wasn’t going to be like “lol no fuck you” but she also kept the house (the one I didn’t want but when I said I wasn’t ready, she cried and told me I wasn’t taking our relationship seriously enough), both cats (one of which also was registered to me, but she cried again and I caved), and a lot of other small things like my camera (I felt bad since she was using it and I “gave” it to her. Haven’t heard of her using it since, but I don’t think that matters too much). I’ve knocked out about $4.5k, but based on a lot of things I’ve talked about in therapy, we’ve (therapist, friends, myself) come to the conclusion it was pretty financially abusive, whether she realized it or not. I really hate to label it something so harsh, but I think that’s what it became. Since I also signed away my rights for the house and she sold it, I won’t see any of that come back my way. With all this, I don’t think I need to pay her anymore money. So, Reddit, let me know honestly, am I the asshole for not paying the remainder back?