Ok so about a year ago my Mum told me she was really tired from her day and that it was my turn to make us tea (which was fair at the time, she DID have a long one). I made the two of us some spaghetti, but didn’t put any sauce or anything on it and just made it plain. My Mum refused the meal completely, saying “oh, seriously, I am not eating THAT!” when I have it to her and ate none of it. I told my Dad about what happened later. He told me that he’d tell her it was HIS idea to make the spaghetti like that as to avoid me getting the blame. About a month later, I decided to bring this up to my older sister. We were both alone at the time, just doing a jigsaw together. I don’t remember why but I found an opportunity in the conversation we were having to bring this up to her. The reason I did was because I was looking for a third party opinion. I was still really shook and upset by what had happened that I was sort of hoping to confide in my sister, or at least get some more clarity. After I’d told her what happened, she thought it over for a second and told me “Hm, no, you were in the wrong“. I was pretty confused by this, but she began to explain her reasoning pretty quickly. She explained to me that the purpose of a partner is to provide for the family, and that what I did wasn’t good enough. She also began to explain how other members of the family such as her boyfriend and our Dad also didn’t contribute enough, but by this point I was pretty confused and upset so I didn’t really respond to her. A few minuets later we just went back to our jigsaw like normal but I was pretty shaken by her words. I don’t want to be a non-provider to the family, but it’s not like the spaghetti I made was pretty stellar either, so I wasn’t sure how to feel. Once my family came back they also noticed I was pretty “out of it” and asked if I was ok, but I didn’t want to start a whole family argument or debate so I just told them I was tired and took an early night. Since all of this, I have once tried to bring this up to my sister. About a month ago I told my sister “you hurt me” but didn’t get to specify why. My words immediately made the room really awkward and nobody really said anything for a while. My sister tried to pull up examples on the past of me doing wrong, but sort of crumbled and trailed off partway through. My Mum said “tut, you two!” and rolled her eyes, but things went back to being awkwardly silent after. I’m kinda glad I voiced my hurt to her, but she was too defensive at the time to really explain any further, so we all just dropped it. It was super uncomfortable and I realised then that I can’t really bring up these issues with my family, so I’m doing it here to a bunch of (hopefully level-headed) strangers. I’s like someone to tell me what steps I should take from here. If you tell me I’m wrong or right, I just wanna know at this point.