For context, Ive known this girl for 20+ years. When she was getting married she was full on bridezilla (I hate using this term, but she was so controlling throughout the process). The two of us used to hang out once every few months due to our schedules. Once engaged we started seeing each other once a week or more. She then started to call me a lot hysterical crying about a fight she had with her now husband or her family. This would happen frequently and I would take the time out of my day, even at work, to help her through it. Even on her batch, she got into a fight with her husband and she was screaming the whole time then didnt want to do anything for the rest of the trip that we all paid for. Fast forward to my birthday, we get together and I ask her what she wants to do for her birthday in a few weeks since I knew my schedule was a shit show. She told me she wanted to do nothing and she didnt want to celebrate. I asked her multiple times and she kept telling me no. I even said we can hang out and we dont have to say it is for her birthday. She then gave me every excuse in the book and said how she was too busy. I respected her wishes and only posted a story for her birthday. She reposted everyone else's story but mine. She told her other friend that she was mad at me for this. When I spoke to our other friend she recommended that I should reach out. Originally I did not want to because I believe if someone has a problem with me they can talk to me to address it. Once I reached out, she wrote me a novel stating how im a terrible friend and how she cannot trust me and that I have to earn her trust back. I asked her what caused this and she couldn't answer me. She proceeded to write another novel saying how I've changed and have been hanging out more with my other friends. Personally, I thought her and I would go back to our normal cadence of once every few months and I was okay with that. I told her that I cannot read her mind and I didnt know she was feeling this way. To which she replied I knew you would say that. I then said I would like to talk this through over the phone. She sent yet another giant text saying she didnt want to and we know each other well enough to hash it out over text. I called her a few times and she immediately sent me to voicemail. I then text her back that if she would like to talk things through and repair the relationship she can call me. Am I the asshole for not doing something for her birthday even though she told me no?