Hi, this is my first time writing on here so bare with me please. I (20f) and my fiancé (20m) have been together for almost two years, and I’d say I have an okay relationship with his family. Fiancé is M and his brother K for this. His brother is in his last year of high school, and I just feel like it’s time for him to start being more responsible. His time management is bad and it’s like he’s inconsiderate of other people’s time and feelings. He gets to work early because of senior privileges, and yet doesn’t bring his clothes with him to school, so he sits there waiting for M to take time out of his shift, mind you he’s the manager, and around 2 is our lunch rush, to drop him off at home. He almost always comes late to work, and recently that was the case again. I was already frustrated because I was at window handing customers their orders (we all work the same job, including their mom), and was dealing with rude customers and the fountain machine not dispensing drinks during rush. I was irritated and told M that K needed to grow up and become more responsible, that he needed to learn how to manage his time, that he should’ve brought his clothes so as to not be taking time out of someone’s shift. There’s more to his brother, like he always butts in a conversation or me just asking M something, giving me unsolicited, sarcastic responses or just questioning me. He defends their mom’s actions (M doesn’t have the best relationship with her due to how she treated him growing up, and how she treated him compared to his siblings. He basically raised them for most of his childhood.) M and their mom got into a big fight that resulted in him moving in with me, and K basically said he looked like an abuser yelling at her. (M almost always just takes what she says, and he decides to stand up for himself this time.) and that he should apologize. Anyways, going back to my comment. Later he sent me home early because I got frustrated and slammed the little door on the fountain machine. He texted me later saying he felt uncomfortable with how I talked about his brother, and that he doesn’t disrespect or talk about my mom that way. For context, she was deported and some other personal stuff, and I love my mom, but sometimes when we talk she lectures me about something, my weight or to do this and do that, and sometimes the call ends with me crying or feeling sad after, and he hates seeing me like that. He says he doesn’t like when she does that. And I understand his perspective, but I think it’s unfair to compare the two. First, she’s not here physically, he doesn’t interact with her everyday, and we’re not talking about her time management, responsibilities or attitude. I understand I’ve could’ve worded it more respectfully or nicely, but I still stand by what I said. K needs to grow up and be more responsible. He’s always telling us we’re childish or we need to act like adults, but he can go ahead and act like this? So, am I the asshole?