I, (25F, almost 26 - My birthday is this month aswell) have been with my boyfriend (34M) for a year. About 3 months ago, he lost his job. He was a bit stressed, but he was fine financially. Since the beginning of the year, he’s gone on about 8–9 trips (he loves to travel). I joined him on 2 and a half of those, but the rest were all him. Being unemployed didn’t stop him, and to be clear, almost all of these trips were just for fun (only 1 was kinda for business but like not really) Meanwhile, my job keeps me on-site, so I can’t just pick up and go whenever. He recently landed a fully remote job starting mid-October, but until then he’s still in this “I’m free, I want to do everything” phase. And honestly, I didn’t mind at first. I never had a problem with him traveling… but lately it feels excessive. Just this past week (literally right after getting the job offer), he planned a trip with his friends. It started as “just a weekend” and turned into 5–6 days. He’ll get back on a Tuesday, and then two days later he’s leaving again Thursday for another trip. Now he’s also talking about Europe after that. When I told him how I feel, he brushed it off with, “but we’re traveling in October.” As if that makes up for him being gone now. To me, it’s not about one trip replacing another, it’s about having a partner who’s actually present. Someone to come home to, cook with, cuddle on the couch, go out together. I don’t want to feel like I’m doing life alone while my boyfriend is off chasing trips. What I wanted was for him to say: “If this upsets you that much, it’s not worth it. I’d rather stay and be with you.” I also don’t want to be the one nagging him to stay. What I want is for him to choose it himself, to say, “I’d rather be home with my girlfriend than out traveling with my friends.” That would have meant the world. Instead, he told me I’m overreacting. He keeps saying this is the most “free” he’s ever been, that he has the time and money, so why shouldn’t he? But for me, being in a relationship isn’t about squeezing in a few trips together. It’s about the everyday moments. If I wanted long distance, I’d choose long distance. If I wanted to date someone constantly gone, I’d date a pilot. So… AITA for being upset and wishing he would sometimes say no to his friends and put me first? Important note : He even told me, “If you tell me not to go, I won’t go,” but that makes me feel like I’m standing in his way, like I’m pulling the plug on something he wants. I don’t want that. I want it to come from within him. He knows I don’t mind him going in general, but he also knows it upsets me and that it puts a strain on our relationship because it feels like I come second.