I (22f) have a rocky relationship with my dad (54m) and his wife (53f). They’ve been together since I was 8 and got married when I was 18. She made my life hell constantly trying to undermine my mother’s parenting and getting mad when I didn’t call her mom. Recently they moved into a new house about 30 minutes from my mother’s (51F) house where I’m currently living due to financial issues. Now they are wanting me to visit them and I keep telling them no cause I’m busy with work. His wife called me the other day and said I should be visiting my father. I snapped at her saying she and my dad nearly missed my college graduation back in May of this year. My dad says I’m the asshole for snapping at her and I could’ve handled it better. My mother is on my side and she says I shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for people who were barely there for me growing up.